Miss. Opinionated : Nice girls finish last
Girls have it bad too
Almost echoing Nice guys finish last, girls too have their own fair share of dating woes, especially when they're "too nice". I'm certainly not suggesting being a slutty leather wearing bitch is the way to go. No no. After all, all guys know that bad girls are bad news. They're not the kind of girl they can take home to parents, they're impossible to live with, frustrating as long term partners and generally a nightmare to deal with. Yet, every man harbours a secret desire for that "bad girl".
Wouldn't it be great to possess the traits of a bad girl and still be nice at the same time?
That way, you could win the heart of his parents, and win his heart at the same time!
Let's get bad.
Naughty Girls
Bad girls resent prudish behaviour. Humans like sex, and the last time I checked, girls are humans too. Bad girls are daring and adventurous. They are unafraid of displaying their sexuality and exploring new sexual horizons. If anything, most guys probably think their "nice girls" are too passive when it comes to sex. Why not take the lead, try new things, experiment. It's a win win! |
Take a break, be Sexy!
It's easy to let yourself go once the relationship seems stable. What's the need in dressing up and being sexy all the time, it's not like the guy likes me for being sexy all the time.. Well, there's a reason why the first question a relationship therapist asks is "Hows your sex life?" because it actually says a lot about your attitude towards keeping up appearances. Pyjamas are certainly comfortable, but looking like you crawled out of a cave all day is not conducive to sexy time. Dress up, look good, be sexy! Looking good is always a confidence booster, and confidence is something bad girls do not lack one bit. |
The secret seductress
Being able to drive a man wild without making your intentions obvious is absolutely a skill that must be mastered. This kind of flirting is bread and butter for the aspiring bad girl. Dropping subtle hints and yet refraining from coming across too skanky. Isn't it fun making the guy's nose bleed? Okay that might be a bit much, but still, the secret seductress is a trait of every bad girl, and the guys are loving it. |
Bad girls stay in shape
Sometimes, letting yourself go isn't just the reluctance to wear flattering clothes. It's also the reluctance to stay in shape. Aside from the obvious benefits of working out to stay healthy, staying in top shape is paramount to maintaining the bad girl image and works wonders for self confidence too. Being "busy" is being lazy. No excuses ladies, make regular exercise a lifestyle change, if not for looking great, then for the sake of being healthy! |
There's being "bad", and then there's being a real bitch
Remember, we're trying to acquire the positive traits of bad girls in doing so, being the best of both worlds. However there are traits we must avoid. If not, we'll only find ourselves being avoided like the plague.
Selfishness
Selfishness is not a trait anybody likes. Not even sometimes. There's a difference between knowing what you want, and acting like you're the centre of the world. Practising empathy goes a long way, and bitchy bad girls just don't know how. |
Gold Diggers
There's nothing worse than selling yourself for materialistic desires. It's really no different from being a prostitute. A real woman will be independent and know how to acquire the thing's she wants herself. Sure, we all have things we desire, but don't expect someone to buy something for you that you wouldn't be prepared to buy yourself. Sex might be the real currency in a relationship, but treating a guy like an ATM is just toxic gold digging behaviour. |
Gods gift to men
Some bad girls are so narcissistic that they truly believe they are the best thing since sliced bread. The whole world is suppose to revolve around her, and she's the best girl around. Common wisdom is that a person, man or woman, should learn to love themselves if they wish for others to love them in return. Except, these bad girls take it a step too far. There's loving yourself, and then there's thinking you're gods gift to men. Even if you really believe you're that good, learn to take a dose of humility and tone the ego right down. Excessive narcissism is a real turn off! |
I don't necessarily believe in the good girl /bad girl dichotomy. Usually girls that are more pretty play it hard to get because they have more guys being attracted to them. They have to somehow narrow down their options.
Good girls on the other hand don't always have something special and they try to win the opposite sex by using other tactics such as being kinder and nicer.
Oh yes definitely. Pretty girls certainly have a sense of entitlement. But less pretty girls can pick up some of the qualities that pretty girls have that give them that extra bit of appeal.
Every time I read such article, I can't help but wonder what part of it is cultural and what part of it is natural to all human beings...
It is a very interesting and poignant article as this is a fascinating subject I keep looking into since I was a little boy. Thanks for pointing out some highly valuable words of wisdom in relation to toning down the ego and, first things first, loving oneself, no to the detriment of any. I like your choice of pictures too. did you actually draw them?
Keep on taking good care, namaste :)
Thanks eric, I think you're right to question whether it's culture or human nature. I like to think of the good and bad girl dichotomy as a spectrum, and obviously a persons' character can move along this spectrum quite dynamically. But what I hoped to capture is the essence of what makes the cool attractive bad girls bad, other than the fact they might be pretty. And the reason is I think that there are some non-aesthetic qualities which lend themselves very well to the overall appeal of a girl, and regardless of your looks, by embracing these qualities, a 'nice' girl can also become more attractive.
You reply is so clear, I'd add it up to the text of your already very good post. thanks a bunch, I can only agree with your position and greatly appreciate your spectrum parallel. Later, namaste :)
:)
Nice stache! Upvoted and follow. :)
I agree, girl are gift from god, for men :)
Well, i'm glad you see it that way, just try not to tell every girl that!
Hihihihi. OK, OK, I see :)
But this gift some time give you very hard time
Interesting, and what kind of girl are you ?
Oooh, good question. I think i'll always be part of the nice girl camp.. But i've had my fair share of being the bad kind of bad and good kind of bad as well. I'd say, being the nice kind of bad is where i'd like to be, but unfortunately it doesn't come naturally to me.
@sweetsssj Love it - loled a lot.
Narcissism indeed. And the gold digger - does it really have to be LV? Geez - that gold digger is pretty high maintainance hahaha :D
I love the part that you mentioned we shouldn't totally let go of ourselves just because we've settled down. I totally agree on that. You seem to know your way well with men ;)
Oh well, LV seems to be the most typical sought after bag for the beginner gold digger. Things quickly escalate though and many men probably regret not jumping on the opportunity to buy the LV one since before you know it you're looking at Hermes and spending 10x more. Still, a responsible man should refrain from complying to these unreasonable requests because there will be no end to them. First it's an LV bag, next it's an Hermes bag, then it's a Car, a house, a Yacht hell the best gold diggers get private jets!
Of course, not letting ourselves go has even more importance on our own self esteem and sense of well being. It doesn't need to be for anyone else but yourself.
@sweetsssj hahahaha :D
I was supposed to write that if I'd do some gold digging I'd go for Hermes - the jets it's so true we have that case in the Philippines and her best friend aren't diamonds but pearls huge ones
hahaha - I like it a lot that you wrote all of these because - Asian women are often perceived as gold digger
You writing this shows - hellar~~~ we can also be Miss Independent and know what we want and go get it ourselves. Course, better if the men do that why not but gold digging .. the mine gets empty faster that way as what I have observed around me cause like what you say - it doesn't stop but escalate indeed.
As for the men - I don't think any woman would try gold digging on any man unless the man allows her to drain him like a walking ATM. It takes two to tango .
I'm blown away how good your English is. Humor is hard to translate but when I read your stuff it is funny. There part where you said, " I'm certainly not suggesting being a slutty leather wearing bitch is the way to go." That made me laugh pretty hard because I envision you as a reserved quite Chinese girl. Not to stereo type but typically when Chinese International students are here in the United States they are very quiet and reserved. So that is interesting.
I don't know about all men but I think it is pretty typical that guys secretly want to be with the "bad / naughty" girl. It also seems typically that even if a woman wants to be responsible and in charge in her every day life, American women typically like to have a man take charge in the bedroom. These seems to be true almost always. They like a man to be aggressive and take charge.
Thank you Brian! I imagine that if you had the pleasure of "getting to know" some international students, you might find out they're not as reserved as you think ! hint hint wink wink And such is the reality for many of us - it's much easier to express ourselves through writing because we've actually been exposed to English for most of our lives, especially the ones that have always planned to study abroad. But what we haven't been exposed to much of is actually speaking. I don't know if you've learnt a second language before, but it's almost always the case that your reading and writing skills will accelerate compared to speaking because that's the main way you initially start accumulating the knowledge. For me, that's definitely the case. Even before leaving the country, I spent a great deal of time just reading English novels, watching movies (with subtitles of course!) and interacting with friends from abroad in English. By the time that I went abroad, I felt really comfortable with reading and writing and yet I had almost no opportunity to practice speaking.
This is one of the reasons why I've really enjoyed Steemit, because it allows time to think, and then put "pen to paper" so to speak - something that i'm well adjusted to through years of exposure (and practice) to English.
So regarding who takes charge, wouldn't you like it if the woman was less passive in the bedroom ? Whilst men may be the plug, women are the socket - and that's where the power comes from :D
I would argue that a "good" girl is someone who always agrees to sex, even she does not want it herself, and would do anything to please her "master", including being sexy 24h a day. But I agree - it's always important to stay fit and attractive - first of all, for yourself.
Good information I think this will help me to deal with girls