Falliing in love Part II - The Spiritual Stage of A relationshipo

Excerpt: In the previous article I have described the basic three levels that most humans go through during the process of falling in love: the physical, the mental and the emotional. In this post, a favorite of mine, I am going farther to describe the love that is created on the spiritual deep levels and how humanity is destined to reach it.

Now, Let’s examine a situation of cheating – where the man functions from the mental level and his spouse functions from the emotional level. When a man commits an act of cheating which is eventually exposed, he will indeed grasp, in his mind, that what he did was wrong. Although such understanding will evoke within him feelings of guilt and pain the focus will still remain on the mental-rational side alone. That man will rationalize the act of betrayal and will look for excuses for what he has done. In order to save his relationship, he will use mental tools to explain his deeds to his spouse. He will use all the nice words he knows, all his witty talks, all his personal charm, and charisma (and when applicable – his financial means as well). By so doing he will be certain he did the maximum one can ever do to peace someone else. And indeed, at his level he certainly did everything. However, sadly enough, for his emotional-based spouse “everything” on the mental level means nothing.

She will have to be satisfied at least on the plane she lives in, the emotional one, else a genuine forgiveness can never occur. Such situation is quite tragic because it is solvable only through a movement of the cheating man upward towards the emotional level. However, inner transformation requires enormous inner strengths and self-awareness, because the most fundamental issues of love, self-reliance, and infatuation must be tackled. Although there are cases in which the betrayed emotional spouse can indeed gather her strengths and momentarily ignore the hurt, in order to pull up the cheating spouse “by the hairs” towards the emotional level in which she lives - such cases are rare and only a few are able to deal with both the inner and external chaotic realities.

Eventually, the inevitable remedy for such personal crisis must be a jump towards the spiritual level where answers can be found.

Level number four – the spiritual infatuation

In order to constantly reside in this level one is required to do extensive self-examination and diligent work of personal observation. One must desire to reach that level. One needs to crave to and intend this to happen regardless the outside contradicting evidence.

Persistent and clearness are essential in this case.

The infatuation at the spiritual level can be confusing at times. We meet a new person and the connection between us is instantly felt. Our mental and emotional qualities become pointless. It doesn’t mean that those qualities are disappearing or that we should act against the signals we receive from our body – on the contrary. At the spiritual level, all the previous levels coincide and fully satisfied effortlessly. The spouse we will meet is extremely attractive, their intellect and mental skills are impressing and their emotional characters will reflect back to us the kingdom of fairy tales. We will believe that dreams do come true. It will seem to us that our biggest fantasy ever about the relationship is coming to life right before our eyes. Thoughts like: “this is a cosmic reunion”….”God really loves me”…are not rare for those who find such love.

So, where is the confusion?

Some obstacles might arise from the beginning. We might meet our “One” but immediately would be parted from them, like two colliding pool-balls. The same force that brought us together is now separating us, leaving us with frustration, confusion and bitterness. We will begin to doubt – first the love that we felt - and soon after our own worth and capability to love. In such time it is worth to remember that love IS, and everything is just an illusion except what we intuitively feel and know. That reminder will help us cross the chasm.

You cannot be mistaken. If you are on the spiritual level you know it. If you doubt if you got there, then you are still on your way. The experiences there are personal and unique to you. It is not comparable to others and it would be pointless to judge yourself whether or not you are doing “the right thing”. What you will go through will be determined by the lessons your soul-self has for you. (No, it’s not karma. Karma is completely dealt and cleared on the mental & emotional levels). Coping with a relationship on the spiritual level and its numerous challenges can be very rewarding because soon after you adapt yourself to certain “spiritual ground rules” your True Love relationship is handed to you on a silver platter; Effortlessly and compassionately. Such experience will make you stronger and prove to you that you are indeed true creators in this world. This IS the most important thing that the infatuation brought to you. Remember that.

How to get “there” and the faith of humanity

The question, which level you operate at currently and how to upgrade yourselves is solely dependent on you. It is Not a question of destiny or “what God wants for me”. You are not drifting in the river of love aimlessly and passively. In addition, the level of your happiness is not an indicator because some humans can still experience sublime joy while living and functioning on the basic physical level. That is perfectly ok. Others will find their spouse on the emotional level, will consider them as “the one” and will live happily ever after to old age. That is perfectly all right as well. It is all a question of choice! Eventually, every human being will go through the spiritual level. This is the faith of humanity as a species.

It is imperative to examine our lives and decide what we choose, where we want to go and when. We do not need to convince others to come with us. It is not a boy scout’s trip. No need to be evangelistic but rather, only to focus on our personal choices and life. Very simple. If the person we are dating is appropriate to what we choose for ourselves then we will remain with them. If not – we will leave and move forward.

The timing is also something that is beyond our control. Once we made the choice to reach the higher level to find love from there, we should release control and allow life to navigate our way. The new circumstances that match our new choices will come and at the most appropriate time for us. No need to bother our mind with questions of How/Who/When or Where but only to trust our choice of True Love.

To summarize: Many people remain stuck in one of the levels albeit their choice to grow, simply because they refuse to learn the lessons that must be learned. For instance, I constantly receive from people such questions: “I am a loving giving woman, I have a good and kind heart and I know to pamper my lover when needed. I have all the right qualities for the perfect spouse. But why do I always find myself in relationships that fail?!” and my answer is simple and always the same: as long as you do not learn the lessons on the third level you will keep existing there. You will keep attracting to your life a spouse with the same pattern to help you learn what you need to learn – mostly it is the lesson of self-love, worthiness, and godhood.

It is all a question of choice. All levels exist simultaneously but locked behind mighty safe boxes until we learn to open them. Then and only then, True Love can come.

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