Why do men cheat? ( The scientific view)

in #relationship4 years ago (edited)

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Is it a truism that once a cheater, always a cheater? Are men more prone to cheating or are they polygamous in nature? Are they truly attracted by what they see? Many women have asserted that it is difficult for men to stay with one partner, that men are "dogs" and needs a strong woman to keep them in check. Well, the question is are most men cheaters and if so, what is the reason behind this issue? Can science provide the raison d'etre as to why this type of behavior?

It is reasonable to assert that relationship issues are quite complicated and people see cheating in different perspectives. Let me start this post with this short funny conversation below between a certain "Husband & Wife"

WIFE: Honey, Since we got married, how many ladies have you slept with?
HUSBAND: (quiet)
WIFE: (15 minutes later) Honey, I asked you a question & still waiting for your honest answer!
HUSBAND: (Quiet)
WIFE: (20 minutes later) Why are you still quite, are you afraid to tell me the truth?
*HUSBAND: Will you just shut up and let me finish counting!!!

Hmmm, If you were in the wife's shoes, I wonder what will be going on in your mind...

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Interestingly, according to Dr David Buss from the University of Texas in an interview posted in MailOnline;

'People cheat for many reasons—because they are bored, for sexual variety, for revenge, because they are emotionally or sexually dissatisfied, for adventure, for resource, or as a mate switching tactics,'
More so,
'The reasons are almost as varied as the reasons that people have sex in general,' adds Dr Buss, who is the author of the book 'The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating.'

However, there is a wide gap between what male and women see cheating as. In Libby Plummer's own contribution in Mailonline, "THE GENDER DIVIDE"

Only 34 per cent of men consider sexting to be cheating, compared to 49 per cent of women says law firm Slater and Gordon.
Women are more likely to cheat because they are seriously unhappy with their primary relationship, loneliness, or in a subconscious search for 'better genes'.
They tend to be more upset by the emotional aspect of cheating rather than the physical side.
In contrast, men are more likely than women to cheat for pure sexual variety and sexual motivations, say the experts.
Males are more likely to define infidelity in strictly physical terms, are tend to be more upset over the thought of their partner being with someone else, rather than the emotional betrayal.

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However, can science tell us why men cheat?

According to Prof. Paul J. Zak, of Claremont Graduate University and the author of Trust Factor,

There are three hormones that modulate monogamy: oxytocin, arginine vasopressin, and testosterone. Oxytocin has been shown in animals and humans to sustain pair bonds in males and females through its release in the brain during sex, touch, and nearly any positive social signal. Arginine vasopressin motivates mate- and offspring-guarding in male socially monogamous mammals, an important aspect of pair-bonding. Testosterone is associated with libido and many of the male characteristics like musculature and drive that are attractive to females when seeking high-quality male genes.

The distribution of oxytocin and arginine vasopressin receptors in the human brain reveals that we are a monogamous species. But is that socially monogamous or sexually monogamous? The large size of the male testicles and shape of the penis suggest that we evolved when females would have multiple sexual partners and it was a "let the best sperm win" all-out competition. We have socially monogamous brains but sexually promiscuous genitals.
More so, for Prof.Paul,

Testosterone is in conflict with the bonding effects of oxytocin (literally--testosterone inhibits the uptake of oxytocin by its receptor). It motivates men and women, but mostly men who have five to ten times more testosterone than the fairer sex, to seek more sexual partners (and to be single-minded and to take more risks). Testosterone levels also respond to our social environment. For example, your testosterone goes up if you win a chess match. If you earn a million dollar extra bonus at your hedge fund, your testosterone is likely to go up. If you win the Grand Slam or Master's tournament, your testosterone soars.
So, are high testosterone men to blame for cheating? Certainly. Do their physiologies and abundant opportunities to cheat provide a motivation to do so. Certainly. Cheating by males--especially high testosterone males--is unlike to disappear. We can still recognize its negative impact on women and families, but I see no reason to demonize promiscuous men, even if it feels right to do so

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So from the above, Not all men are cheaters however, it is obvious that high levels of testosterone is the reason why most men especially the athletic ones tend to cheat in their relationships. The question is, if your partner be it male or female cheats on you as a result of your fault, will you be able to forgive and move on?

Send in your responses in the comment option about your cheating experiences and resteem so others can join. Do also follow and kindly please upvote this post to show your support.

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No all men are not cheaters...There are some strong character men that are firm in their beliefs and values...

Very correct. Many men are very Noble and loyal to their partners and most women do cheat also...

Yes it definitely depend upon strength if one's character that makes him/her Noble or ignoble

Very true. Good comment and let's keep in touch

This is a fantastic topic and article. I don't know where to begin in responding because I could write an entire post in response. I would argue that monogamy is a social construct to avoid conflict in small groups of people and as society has grown, there is less social accountability for cheaters. It is just plain easier to not get caught and the consequences aren't nearly as severe. However, I think that all men consider cheating, but many don't act on it or are unable to. I can't speak for women, of course. ;)

Hahaha. Excellent response. I totally agree but is cheating exclusive for men alone? Most men has tendency to cheat but don't due to their personal resolve or what society might say so also some ladies . But ladies are smarter in the cheat game 😋

No doubt. Also, clearly men who wear red boxer shorts choose poorly in the cheat game. At least the gif would indicate that is the case. Not that I'm an expert on which married women I should get involved with, but I think "if their husbands own guns" should be a deciding factor. Just saying.

Hahaha. Once more you responded like an expert in the game . 😋. Now I know red boxers is garnished with more testosterone which attracts married women 😇

People seem to forget that we are all just animals with animal instincts. Yes we have civilization but still we have those same fundamental instincts that all creatures have.

Good point. Meaning it is in our nature as animals to have that urge to cheat. Only that as higher animals, we control that urge better. Nice one...

The question is whether you want to equal yourself to an animal or if you want to be the higher, self-aware and intelligent being that humans have aspired to be since many thousands of years.

Very correct @replichara
That's an individual resolve to make that choice but as higher animals our choices must be rational , one which comes with empathy.
Nice comment, let's keep in touch 😎

wow. what a read. so testosterone at fault right? now i know and will take it from there.. hahaha...nice one...upped

😎 yeah. Tha now for the reply

like this topic and the way you trashed the scientific view. hilarious joke though btw. keep it coming

Sure @kelgreen tks for the comment

Numerous men may begin to feel old and stress that life and experience is behind them. Thus, they need a lady who will influence them to feel youthful and like they're at their prime once more. Individuals that cheat may essentially like that it's forbidden. "One reason individuals have illicit relationships is that they get a high from the taboo idea of swindling.

A good point indeed. Let's say they get heightened testosterone levels when doing the illicit act.

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Cheating isn’t a nature for men and I don’t believe that “once a cheater always a cheater”

I agree with you. Thanks for for comment. Let's keep in touch

You welcome, sure we should.

You explained the issues of cheating well, thanks

What an interesting topic about why men cheat. I think that it is in men nature to cheat however one can control that urge to cheat...good post

Yeah. That's self control. Nice comment

great post....resteem and upvote for u :)

Thanks. Let's keep in touch

thanks my friend :)

i liked the 'counting' joke :D

Hahaha yeah just to add humor to it 👍😎

All men are not cheaters but a higher percentage are.But most times,it is done just for the pleasure(lust) and nothingelse.So,females should just don't try to monitor their man,once you are sure he loves you let him live free life.

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The evolutionary logic is not very complicated. Genes that make men more likely to seek multiple sexual partners have a greater tendency to propagate themselves. Genes that make women more likely to seek multiple partners may interfere with their own propagation by reducing the co-parenting support these women receive during the biological burdens of pregnancy and early child rearing.

Very good point. Tks for the comment

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