"You", Drives You Crazy

It is absolutely unquestionable that there are people within our lives who try to ignite all of our switches, be it a relative, our partner, a colleague, a friend, our children, or a neighbour. They will easily irritate and frustrate us.

Whom in question

The truth is, though, when we have a solid emotional reaction to someone, it is more often about us, and not them. And when our response internally or externally does not align with what's truly happening at that moment, it is plainly about us or our past.

This is difficult for almost everyone to accept, since we often want to blame others for our behavior. For example, "if the government can create opportunities, then I could be a hard-working youth". Or, "if my boss wasn't such a bully, then I'd be loyal and devoted to my job". very well.....

But really, it's hardly ever about the other person. The behaviours they exhibit is always giving us an indication regarding our feelings and the aspect we need to work on in ourselves. The person is a catalyst to show us what we're feeling.

On a subconscious or conscious level, the other person may be reminiscent of someone within our past, there may be something familiar about the way they walk or talk or look that may remind us of something with our parents or an old relationship. Or, it could be something very subtle that we are not even picking up.

Or perhaps this individual may bring back memories of some part of ourselves. Maybe you have heard the phrase: "You spot it, you've got it", meaning that sometimes we are annoyed at others because they are reflecting something that we do not especially like or want to see in ourself.

How can you agree to the other person's behavior?

First of all, access yourself and know what thoughts you are experiencing. Is your experience with this person and situation equal in porportion with what's happening? Check in with what's heading on for you at this moment. Ask yourself: what is happening within me at this moment, that makes me feel this way? (Try to keep the term "why" out because that keeps us in our heads.)

When someone says something that troubles us, then we might be mildly annoyed but in a position to let it go, but if our discomfort level is bigger and we're having trouble allowing go, then evidently there is something unresolved in our past and unresolved in ourselves that's creating turbulents with our emotions.

Sometimes, what can be unresolved is a feeling of not being efficient, not feeling heard, or feeling that my restrictions are being violated. And often we don't even have words for that neither are we aware of what we're experiencing, we might instead be saying something like, "Why does she talk with everyone else but constantly ignoring me?" Or "Why is this person always pestering me and does not leave me alone?"_ When we focus on the behaviour of others, then it's usually an indication that we need to look more deeply into our emotional state. Looking outward rather than inward may be considered a sign that deeper issues are being stimulated, and we'll have to determine what is being triggered within us.