just because someone gave birth to you, doesn't mean they automatically deserve your respect without actually earning it.

I totally agree. My father was an abusive alcoholic and even though he was a "responsible" provider, it wasn't until my elder brothers disrespected him, after he hit our mother, that he started to actually act like a father, stopped drinking and hitting. Then, only then he earned our respect.

Now here's the problem: even if they are really toxic at times, you still want to have the desire to love them (if that makes sense) because after all, they are your parents.

Noup. It does not make sense. Some parents never change and harm beyond repair. They deserve nothing. Children of this kinds of parents grow and live only after they've given up that link.

I know this is a rather different kind of article, but that's the whole point of this series - to talk about the real shit. To be totally unfiltered and to pay attention to the things that are usually left unattended and need to be said out loud.

I think you did a great job at bringing this touchy subject for discussion.
I think that a parental figure may be waiting for us in many loving people around us. Perfection does not exist in most things human, but parenting has some fundamental principles none of which includes hurting your children purposefully, which some parents do. Like parents, other relatives also screw up all the time because they know that there will always be some idiot saying "they are family, we have to love them no matter what". It's like forgivign and forgetting about priests' sexual abuse because, for god' sake they are priest, we are supposed to love them and respect them, they represent god on earth, they are holy, bla bla bla.

Respect and love must be earned.