Are You A 40 Year Old Virgin??

in rant •  4 months ago

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Driving a vehicle typically brings out the worst in most human beings. . . I’m not really sure why, but in my experience it can be one of the more annoying activities I do within a day. . . Most likely because I live in the 3rd most populous city in the United States and traffic is horrendous during most hours. .

However, this post is not about driving a vehicle but rather another type of idiot moving among the 2.7 million + people where I live. . .The fucking bike rider!

Something about these freaks peddling along the city streets of Chicago annoys the fuck out of me. I’m not sure what compels someone to get up in the morning, throw their work clothes on and then think it’s a good idea to pedal their ass to work while risking their lives. . . It’s fucking stupid. . . Not to mention if you are a single “yuppie” male it’s probably not a very good way to project yourself and definitely not a good way to attract the ladies. . You look like a god damn geek.

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I always get the image from the movie, “40 Year Old Virgin” in my head and it’s not too far off from what these “cyclists” look like. . .

Now, some of you may be reading this and think to yourself, “what the fuck is rawdawg’s problem? Bike riding is cool!”
Yes, I would agree, however there is a time and place. And the place is definitely not amongst busy city streets. . Every year quite a few of these imbeciles die because they decide they wanna look like Steve Carrel. . .

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The city of Chicago doesn’t help out much in the matter either as they condone geek fest and have bike lanes all over the place encouraging these fuck-tards. In addition, the city has incorporated a bike rental program called Divvy in which people can rent bikes and pedal about.

There is Uber, Lyft, trains, and buses. . . Chicago is not shy when it comes to public transportation. .

Stop looking, behaving, and acting like a child.

Get off your fucking bicycle. . . Idiots.

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Is Rawdawg pissed off because all these fat nerds on bikes are moving faster than Dawg in Chicago streets? :D

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Nah, I’m a pretty fit dawg. . The body of a pit-bull. 😂

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Couldn't agree more. Can't stand bikes clogging up roads and blocking traffic. I guess according to the law they're vehicles and have to be in the street. The problem is they have no motor and cant maintain the speed limit. Like you said a lot of them get killed as a result.

That’s the spirit, let it out 🤬🤬🤬🤬!!!!

I’d much rather live in a world with all bikes than all cars, but considering this world is full of people texting, make upping & probably jerking off while operating a car, I would not ride a bike anywhere near traffic.

The funniest are the fat weekend road bikers I see in my area. They squeeze into spandex onesies made for a competitive athlete & pedal their spilling sausage slowly around town at least once a month to keep there shape (round).

Fuck these virgin a-holes 😂

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Hahahahaha, spilling sausage

Dear rawdawg please help,

I’m not a bike guy. Probably because I’m not retarded. I have kind of wanted to try mountain biking down hill on trails by my house.

Does this mean I’m gay?