10 Interesting and Ridiculous facts about Florida - with some commentary
There are some really off-the-wall things you might not have known about the state of Florida. Here are 10 for your reading pleasure.
Need a blog idea? Do a little research on your home town or state. You may be surprised about the strange laws, or wonderful attractions in your area.
Oh, Florida! You wacky state, you! Had I known some of these things, I might have reconsidered adopting it as my new home state.
10. Special notice for unmarried ladies
You risk being arrested, fined, and jailed if you decide to go parachuting on a Sunday.
Well, thank goodness I'm married and wouldn't jump out of a perfectly good airplane anyway. But in a state where there's at least one (usually) two churches on a corner, I'm betting that you should probably be in a house of worship instead of pursuing heart-thumping extreme sports.
9. It is illegal to sell your children
Dammit all. Whatever happened to the free market anyway? Geez, my kids might have brought in a small fortune and saved me a shitton of money on my grocery bill. Just sayin'
8. If you're dressed in a swimsuit, don't even think about singing in public. It's not allowed
Sorry, Frankie and Annette, those beach parties were totally illegal. And we thought you were goody-two-shoes.
7. Men are not allowed to be seen in public in strapless gowns
Well, there are some women that should not be allowed to wear strapless anythings either. Sorry, RuPaul and the queer, cross-dressing community. Maybe you can break out the rainbow on Halloween.
6. Be vigilant against marauding neighboring states
Oh neighboring states, I vow to protect my adopted state of Florida against your attacks. What the hell am I talking about?
Florida has written that should we be attacked by Alabama or Georgia, the state legislature is legally empowered to fill all vacated offices and take “necessary and appropriate” actions to insure the continuity of government operations against attacks from our enemies - specifically Georgia and Alabama.
5. Thou shalt not live together unless you're married
Meredith & Pat breaking the law (before we got married)
It's in the books. Section 2 of Chapter 798 of Title XLVI of the Florida Code prohibits "any man and woman, not being married to each other, [from lewd and lascivious association and cohabition]"
Random thought here: But do you think promiscuous old people really care? I mean, I've called Florida the home of the newlyweds and nearly-deads for decades, so who might this law really apply to?
4. Sex is okay but only in the missionary position
Throw out your copy of the Kama Sutra, friends. You're not getting jiggy with anything in the Sunshine State.
I didn't see anything about who can or cannot be on top, so there's your consolation prize. Forget 69s, doggy-style, or swinging from the chandelier.
3. Husbands - you may not kiss your wife's breasts
It's a no-no here. Apparently fondling is okay, but mouths off the ta-tas. My guess is the exception would be to get a doctor's note to say you need breast milk from the source for medicinal purposes.
Gah! I can't even believe my mind went there, but there are some sick fucks who pay good money for that kind of trip.
2. Oral sex is illegal in Florida
COME ON, MAN! The tongue is probably one of the strongest, most used muscles in the body. Denying it exercise should be illegal. For those of you who don't practice phallacio, this may be a relief. I, on the other hand, don't mind a little give and take in that arena.
1. Bestiality finally became illegal...some time after 2008
Apparently the law was passed after there was a horrific rape and murder...of a goat. Okay, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. FOR REALZ?
And here's a little note that you may not have known: As of 2012, bestiality is still legal in 16 states. Is yours one of them? Don't worry about the kiddies - check on your livestock instead!
BONUS
Did you know it was illegal to have sex with a porcupine?
What. The. Fuck?! I mean... Seriously? Was this such a problem that they had to write a law banning sex with a porcupine? My bet is that there were so many doctors pulling quills from the penises of major idiots that they all got together and made a petition.
Here's the problem. I would think that since it's on the books, they kind of have to keep it because repealing such a law would then allow sex with porcupines and this vicious cycle of rodent rape would continue unabated.
Final thoughts
If you like parachuting on Sunday - don't move to Florida.
If you enjoy giving or receiving blow jobs or having sex in any ol' position - don't move to Florida.
Don't even think about selling your kids here.
Oh, and if you like to screw animals then don't move to Florida.
Take your lewd and lascivious behavior to our enemy states of Alabama and Georgia instead.
Honestly, you'd think a state that's shaped like a scrotum would be a little more open-minded about stuff!
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Meredith Loughran blogs at ScribblingBandits.com | Follow her on Twitter & SnapChat or LinkedIn
All laws I live my life by and should be a world wide law lol
but.....I thought this was my world and y'all were only visiting? hahahaaaaa
See with all your upheaval you didn't notice I had moved in hahaha
Fun post. My mom lives in FL, and I visit once a year. It is definitely interesting, hehe. I may have broken a few of them when I was there, lol.
They did actually repeal law #5 this year though :)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/unwed-unmarried-couples-florida-law_us_57068015e4b0a506064e5bca
I've only lived in Florida for just over a year and I don't think I've broken any of these damn laws. I won't jump out of a plane, my kids are too old to sell, I'd rather eat animals than screw them, and anything related to sex is basically in my imagination. LOL (That's what happens when your house is under renovations with absolutely NO privacy). Ah, @timcliff - it took them until April, 2016 to repeal this? Welcome to the 21st century, Florida!
lmao off this is too funny and I thought Chesters "it's legal to kill a welsh man found inside the city walls after midnight with a crossbow" was a strange as it gets.
GURL - there's even one where if you fall asleep under the hairdryer, you can get fined. I thought that was pretty benign so I left it out. Joke's on us, isn't it? We're paying these people to create and uphold the law! ::smacks head::