FLAWS and GREATNESS and all! Smile

in ptsd •  last year

It feels good to be back after a summer hiatus.  Thank you all for sticking with me.  I've been out fighting for healthcare and human rights and meeting others in the disabled community.   Because my blog is about raising awareness for "invisabilities" by using my own story it's been tough.  It's also been healing in ways.  

For those of you you haven't read my blogs yet my invisible disabilities /invisabilities include Traumatic Brain Injury and PTSD from a car accident a few decades ago.  I've written about what happened and how it changed my life.   This process of blogging on steemit.com has brought up emotions that I didn't really realize I had about the issues and circumstances I've encountered from being a SURVIVOR and being left with a lifetime of disabilities which others don't understand because they're invisible.  You can't look at me and say, OH!  She's disabled because of my appearance.  You would not know from talking to me that I have a disability either.  I am also very intelligent so that seems to be one of the barriers that tends to blind people to my disability status.  I even have family that thinks I'm "milking it for all it's worth" which is extremely hurtful and untrue.  Knowing that these family members also lost 3 family members in the vehicle I was a passenger in where I was the ONLY survivor.  They saw me when I was in a coma for those weeks.  These same family members got me life flighted back to my hometown once I was stable (we were in another state on our way to my Great Grandmothers funeral who died 2 days before)  They were there when I woke up and had no memory of any of it including most of my life before.

What I've found with all of the dissent I get from family, old friends and others is that it also makes me question my own disabilities more. Peoples disbelief in me and what I'm saying tend to make me question.  Although once  I'm in a more level headed state I know it's true and am still heartbroken that I am unable to achieve my previous goals because of my Invisabilities.   I fought my doctors for years because they tried to convince me I NEEDED to be on SSDI.   I fought them and argued with them for about 6 years until I finally realized they were right.    I have NO DESIRE to be treated like I'm "special".  I have NO DESIRE to be talked down to because people can't "see" it.  What we survivors need is supportive people around us or on call.  I just want to live my life and be accepted for who I am with all of my flaws and all of my greatness.  


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I'm with you. I am a brain haemorrhage survivor and suffer from various symptoms which are not visible. The worst - and most embarrassing - is memory failure. Sometimes I will meet someone I know really well and cannot find their name. It is not forgotten, just not findable... and if I happen to be with someone else at the time and have to do introductions it can be a nightmare!

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I completely understand where you're coming from. I tend to use nicknames for people in general. Like "sunshine" or something along that line. I also have a trick for introductions but I had to train my friends on how to help me out with it first. Once we got it down it worked like a charm. We all live in different states now so it doesn't help as much anymore lol Good luck with everything. I'm here if you want to talk :)