Of babies and barbells
I thrive on schedules, so these last two weeks haven't been easy. I'm behind in just about everything. I showed up to my class last night to teach, but it took me 10 minutes to gather myself due to exhaustion and being out of sorts. It was still a great class. Great students make that happen. But I like to be put together and prepared.
Not Lili's baby.
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Parenting is tough, even when you're not the parent. Ha! There's nothing I'd like to do more than hold Lili's baby all day. His sweet, sleepy vibes make me want to nap. And having a baby in the house is certainly a reason for fatigue, but it's not my reason.
I've been hitting it really hard in the gym. I have fitness goals and I'd like to get to the next level. Instead of doing one workout a day, I've been doing two and some accessory work. Yesterday I checked my max deadlift. I was pleased to find I can still lift my old max (165#). Some concerns there were whether my grip would hold or my tendon would scream at me to stop. Instead, it was almost easy, although 166 was a no go. It's funny how one pound can make such a big difference.
My deadlift goal is 200# by the end of this year. I think it's achievable. I won't digress into the nitty gritty there. The point is that I worked myself to exhaustion first thing in the morning, struggled with my brain all day trying to play catchup on my freelance work, and then went to teach my evening class. I forgot my wallet, so there was no tea to bolster me. And it was okay. Again, the class was great. But I wonder . . .
Yesterday Lili asked me why I push myself so hard. Fitness goals is one answer. Anxiety is another. It is possible for me to be too fatigued to feel anxious, which I need right now. My heart is hurting in a big way. There is plenty for my mind to fret over. So I do all the burpees and all the deadlifts after my CrossFit class in the morning. Or I slam a ball or swing a kettlebell. I work on GHD situps. I hop on the assault bike. I try to rebuild consistency in my pullups. There is never a shortage of work to be done in the gym, and a lot can be completed in an hour.
Is it avoidance? No. I'm still feeling my feelings. I'm just not letting my body loop into a high stress state. I'm making myself too tired on purpose, and I'm doing it in a way that builds my stamina. I'd much rather my body be primed for strength rather than fear.
Next Monday I'll go a bit lighter with evening teaching in mind. Today is a new day for me to work hard. I'm ready for it.
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Good for you @shawnamawna for keeping to your goals.
Thank you! I have officially committed to 5 days a week at the gym and now have a friend to buddy up with each day after class for accessory/skill work. We are working together to challenge each other. I'm thinking a lot about this because it's a non-competitive, supportive family feeling (and that's new for me).
.Anxiety is another. It is possible for me to be too fatigued to feel anxious, which I need right now.
I needed to hear this. I've been feeling my anxiety ramping up and I need to push myself at the gym. I know from past experience that lifting calms me in some deep way. Thank you for the reminder.
Have you been at the barbell, @byn? Last week I was just plain exhausted, but after a second week of pushing (and lifting heavy things and putting them down again), I am feeling my energy grow. I am also working hard to meet my eating goals. I learned I was worrying too much about calories and not enough about nutrient breakdown. I was on-track all week so far and it has truly supported me.
I love lifting heavy, but I am sadly unmotivated to actually get my butt to the gym unless I have a partner. My daughter is great about getting us there when school is out, so SOON! Lifting helps me in so many ways. I love the feeling of getting stronger, being able to eat for fuel more than anything else and it helps me not have back pain all the time!
Having the fitness challenge is not a bad idea strong woman @shawnamawna
but please take it easy on yourself....don't stress yourself out....wishing you
all the best. Oh!!! I nearly forget this one!!! Welcome back. Nice to see you
around again. @shawnamawna.
Thank you! I am so glad I am getting here more regularly. I told myself, "Today, just get to comments." I love responding to each and every one. I write on Steemit for the community. Thank you for being here.
It really is delightful that we have new days and can modify our goals to fit the new day.
THIS ^^. YES. I can't agree more emphatically. This is where we can give ourselves grace. <3