How to Save a Marriage
I've been chasing my thoughts like a dog after her tail for the last week or more. My brain won't stop chattering. Transitions are at play. The landscape of my life is changing through beautiful growth on my part, my children's and my partner's.
Change is difficult.
)Not always, but often, change incites struggle. My partner and I are working hard at making sure we communicate clearly with each other. Today I learned that my pep (something I have a lot of) hasn't left much room for his self-expression. It hurt to hear, but mostly because it's true. I am abundantly, energetically, joyfully excited. I also tend to micromanage. Basically, I've been managing my husband's joy instead of making space to share in it.
Because we communicate intentionally and with compassion for each other, our marriage is saved.
Really. Overshadowing your lover's joy can be a dealbreaker. Now that I know why he's been quiet and cranky, I can reassess and be a better listener should he need one. I can also do what I am doing now--leave the house with all my happy energy intact and get some work or fun in.
I am currently at a local grocery store cafe typing away. I love this place. I can people watch here. I'll likely run into at least one person I know and have a light conversation. Free wifi means I can work, and a comfy couch means I can relax. Away from my partner. Which means he can relax into the space I'm not taking up.
It's not a fault, but it is a fact that I tend to overwhelm. I am a go go go person. Hand me an idea and I'll make it a reality with added glitter and bells. I'll be thoroughly perky the whole time. I get how that's annoying, especially when I take off with ideas that were offered in the spirit of someone wanting to accomplish something for themself rather than having me make it a party I'm invited to. Oops.
Cheers to space. Cheers to communication. Cheers to boundaries. And cheers to honoring each other.
What are you learning about yourself today?
Image from pixabay
Wow beautiful article… Honestly I'm not married but I have someone in my life since 3 years now and I think that what you mention is the basis of an healthy and balanced relationship! Before loving someone it's important to love ourselves first. <3
We just celebrated our 24th anniversary on Thursday and I've been using this past week to write about our first year together. I've always tried to keep communication open over the last two and a half decades, but there has been an ebb and flow. Still, it has been really really good to remember some of the hard sh*t that we've been through. It always gives me so much hope, because if we made it through THAT, we can make it through anything.
I love what you share. It is always something that at the very least makes me look into myself and be more conscious of my actions and relationships. Thank you for sharing.
Your post has been chosen for this week’s Powa Moves curation post, highlighting great writing and art from the #teamgirlpowa tag. 💖 Thanks for sharing your wonderful words, and for making @teamgirlpowa awesome!
