I don't even know where to begin. I feel for you. I sleep with audiobooks regularly because my favorite narrator turned down so I can just hear him drowns out the cyclical thoughts so I can fall asleep. I meditate, I see a therapist regularly and about a year ago, I started taking sertraline. I couldn't believe anyone could think I needed that, but it has helped, at least for me. You are definitely not alone. Anxiety can be crippling. Talking about it sounds like it was a good idea. I wish you mental peace :-)