I understand I how you feel. I've been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in 2015 ever since my family started to fall apart. I had financial problems, relationship problems and also I'm doing really bad in my studies. Every single one of us wanted to live in an ideal world created by our own imagination, I can guarantee you that. The world ain't pretty but I've learned to look upon this life on a different angle. It's working so far and I'm not dependent on anti-depressant anymore. If you are strong enough, you will find that the reward waiting for you at the end of the road is proportional to the challenges that you faced currently, so hang in there. Your turn will come soon enough.