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RE: Shame and fear of who we have been. Why?
It's a hard decision to make. The only thing I can tell you is this:
Do what you need to do - for you <3
Just as an addendum, both my children keep away from my parents too - of their own volition, I have never asked, guilted or demanded they stay away.
I may write about this in more detail and I'll tag you in it if you'd like?
<3
I would love that. Please do!