RE: A little rant...a little rip...'n a whole lotta something else
So... yeah... I saved the heavy reading for when I wasn't in full-blown keeping up with some posting and commenting ninjas who didn't think they were ninjas! Would you believe I was assessed with Asperger's as an adult? Yeah, in my late 30s. By then I didn't really give a shit because I'd finally felt comfortable in my own skin and stopped worrying about what other people thought of me. It was liberating to have "a reason" for feeling so alone and rejected when I was young. School sucked. I hated every minute of it until I went to college.
I take partial responsibility for being an outcast in my youth. I'd been kicked too many times that I just kicked back before someone did it again. It hurt less if I was the one calling the shots - even if it meant being lonely. So... what changed?
The moment I realized that I had control over who I kept around me and stopped giving power to the people who didn't matter in my world. If someone doesn't like me then they don't deserve me. If someone wants to be negative ALL THE TIME, I don't need that kind of energy eating away at my happy place. buh-bye. What I've found is that I like being authentically me. There are no more masks - though, if you want to call diplomacy and biting one's tongue a mask, okay. I mean, I'm a nice person overall. My filter has gotten a lot smaller as I've gotten older. But I'm not out of control like a monkey throwing feces around. LOL Still, when I mean what I say and say what I mean people migrate toward me, and I'm not so worried about anyone hurting my feelings because... well... they don't have the power to anymore.
I am a rock...
Wow, thanks for sharing that. I didn't like bullies in school and I don't like them now. In school back then I could shove back...and I did...hard. These days it's a different world...I ain't pack'n nuth'n and you don't know who might be so it's best to stay outta that kinda action. Guess I got my frustrations out by play contact sports...which I excelled at.
I'm glad you got your diagnoses, and that it was a confirmation for you. I've fought a few diagnoses but let the last one go and just said I'm not taking that medication...after a good amount of research. Sometimes sad is just an emotion, and hyper is a phase.
The idea that because I'm on some kind of spectrum they've decided on which there's a point (low bar) where drugs that change your chemistry is the best course of action in my mind misuse of trust, abuse of power and for some more accepting than me bullying. By that I mean they (the doctors...ok some) insist that commencing a mind altering, body breaking and soul sucking course of trials until the right "mix" for your make-up is found. They insist and badger people who have never harmed themselves, another or have needed to be restrained because they had been lost to real reality. Sure many find relief and perhaps the benefits do outweigh the risks of such course of action. But I'm not a statistic and nether is anyone. They should be more willing to take each person on an individual basis. They've lowered the bar so much to bring in customers they have no time to help those who really need it. It's a mess...and I don't know anything more I can do about it than to stay the hell away from those people.
Thank you for sharing Meredith, I'm glad you did. And yes...you are a rock...you're an island. The salt of the earth. I'm happy you know better to allow anyone to try and tell you differently.