How To Be Depressed: In Ten Steps

in psychology •  11 months ago

Here are 10 simple steps to guarantee your depression lasts forever. Sometimes it is hard to be depressed, but there are many things you can do to make sure you stay that way:

1. Drink alcohol

Alcohol is the world's most dangerous drug. More dangerous than heroin or cocaine. You would be better off shooting up heroin (if it was pure) than drinking government-sanctioned depressants like beer, wine or spirits.

If you need to push away feelings and memories into an unresolved limbo that haunts your every waking-moment, alcoholic beverages are the perfect choice. It's also socially acceptable: Others around you are self-medicating with it too. Hang out with them; they won't question anything either.

2. Avoid psychedelics

Psychedelics are consciousness expansion technologies. They allow us to amplify our patterns of thought and (in a safe setting) resolve old trauma. If you want to stay depressed, you should follow the advice of your government: Don't explore your own nervous system. If you use psychedelics, you risk discovering what you are 'depressing' (pushing down).

3. Agree not to remember your childhood.

The majority of depression is caused by childhood abuse. If you want to stay depressed, you must NOT remember your childhood. Instead, you must remember a fictional version of it. To help with this process, ask your family what you were like as a kid, they will likely repeat a fiction. It may also help to refer to a family photo album: This will present you with a stage-managed version of what happened. Most childhood photos will have been taken to depict a happy, functional family. Gazing at these nostalgic fictions will help to re-enforce your depression (pushing down of memories) and hide the truth.

4. Ignore your inner-child

Ask your 'caregivers' if you were subjected to violence as a child. You will be told, "we smacked you just once when you tried to run into the road," or a variation on this. Accept this as the truth. Do not question this version of events. Also: ignore the statistical probability that you were sexually abused as a child. Although this happens to as high as 1 in 3 children; tell yourself that it definitely didn't happen to you, because you would remember.

If difficult feelings arise, refer to step 1 - Drink heavily to depress the emerging feelings.

5. Eat Meat

Participation in the global animal holocaust is an important way to sustain your depression. It is important not to see it as a holocaust though: You must view meat eating as a natural and necessary part of the human experience. Although part of you (your inner child) will be acutely aware that the way our society treats animals is an allegory for how we treat each other, you must push this realization away if you are to maintain your depression. If you realize how society treats animals, you may start remembering how society treats children, then your depression is in trouble. Your depression relies on you not connecting or relating to the needs of other conscious beings: Including yourself.

Talking to other members of your dysfunctional society will help reassure you that eating animals is ok. Most of them will agree with you. They are depressed too and can help you stay depressed by repeating specific mantras and belief systems installed by 'culture' pre-verbally. Do not visit any meat-preparation facilities.

6. Have a 'career'.

Almost every job that pays well in your society is a means of exploitation. The more you exploit people in our society, the more bits of money-paper you get to spend on stuff that has exploited others in its manufacture. Participate in this cycle as deeply as you can by finding 'success' in your career. Ignore the absence of satisfaction or well-being you feel in your 'job'. Tell yourself that if you 'achieve' enough you will be 'valued'.

7. Have children and unconsciously repeat everything

If you want to stay depressed, you should marry someone who is the unconscious replica of your mother/father and then act out the childhood you don't remember on your own children. Remember: to repeat the cycle, you must convince yourself that everything you do to your children is natural and 'instinctive'. Do not explore the possibility that you were programmed in your own childhood and are now unconsciously programming another human with the same code.

Repeat the societal mantras that children need discipline and eduction. Do not allow yourself to realize that children need love and freedom from 'education'.

8. Under-exercise or over-exercise.

To maintain your depression you should either avoid all physical activity, or subject yourself to exercise as a form of torture. Like anything, exercise can be used as a coping-mechanism to repress memories. If you feel anything difficult arising, either sit inertly in a room and watch YouTube videos, or go for a ten mile run and collapse. Do not do moderate exercise like yoga or go for a gentle swim: Your depressive state relies on you not being kind or respectful to your body. You must, instead, repeat the physical abuse you were subjected to as a child, but keep the memories of this depressed.

9. Visit a psychologist

Most psychologists have certificates which allow them to practice psychology. These are issued by the authorities who rely on your depression persisting, so that you do not overthrow them. If you remembered the causes of your depression then you would remember that hierarchy and power is the essential fuel of abuse in our society: You would want to depose the government.

So, if a psychologist started actually curing anyone, then they would be stripped of their title and cast out of the profession. Most psychologists are therefore guardians that prevent you remembering any more than society accepts. If you feel memories or feelings returning, go to a psychologist who can help you to depress them again. You must not remember or you risk lifting your depression and this will threaten your 'society'.

10. Blame yourself for how you feel

It is important that you do not see your depression as a natural reaction to existing in a sick society. Instead, you must view your depression as something that is a problem with YOU. You should constantly individualize your experience and seek ways to 'fix' yourself or 'get better'. Do not consider the possibility that society needs to fix itself collectively.

You must deny society's sickness and focus, instead, on how you can continue to participate in it. Ignore everything your body is telling you about the post-capitalist hellscape you live in. Tell yourself: I must get over this.

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Some times we feel we are overcoming our depression by taking alcohol not knowing that we are actually worsening it


Yes, that happened to me. Alcohol is the most dangerous drug in the world. It's amazing that it is available without prescription.

Thanks for reading :)

Wow!! Great post, I love your tongue in cheek approach! Thank you for touching on overexercising, not many realize that it can be just as harmful to our bodies as not exercising at's one of the hidden addictions that is seen as beneficial!


Yes, it's difficult: Sometimes things that look like they are tools of recovery morph into new addictions or distractions in themselves. However, addiction to exercise is obviously better than addiction to alcohol. But it would be preferable to be addiction free.

For me, this requires making all unconscious pain conscious, and then processing it.

Thanks for reading!


Thank you for trying to help others <3 <3 <3


Yet most people don't even realize processing their unconscious pain is an option. We are taught one rule only and that is: Bury anything that proves you are not a functional human being. Actually what we are being taught to do is bury our humanity, our individualism and vulnerability. It took me a long time to get out of that trap and start living a life that doesn't conform to societal standards and now that I am, I'm far happier with my 'unstable, wandering lifestyle' than I've ever been in the past when ticking all the right boxes.

The very sad part about this is how threatening it seems to be to some people in your life who 'don't understand' your choices. And lash out against them as a result. Actually, seeing someone being free just scares the living shit out of them.


Thanks for your comment, @holothewise

Yes, it's sad that there is not more education about humanity's unconscious pain and how people can uncover and process it. Hopefully this will change in the future.

And, yes, some people are terrified of witnessing freedom. I think it provokes a scary question for them: Why am I not free too?

Glad to hear you are living the way you want to. I like wandering too.

Thanks for reading!

We used coping mechanism to try to combat our depression. It makes our sanity intact. It's just a matter of how we put this coping mechanism to work. We resort to drinking alcohol which depressed our central nervous system further feeling more depressed, we go to psychiatrist which give us antidepressant drugs which side effect is depression,we blame ourselves for the circumstances that we don't have any control of. Repressing childhood experiences especially if detrimental to our psychological well being is our body's way of coping with the stress of it but voluntary repressing it cause more harm sometimes.Acceptance is much better although it takes some time.I am not opposed in eating meat because it is rich in vitamin B12 which helps our body, deficiency of it as they say can cause depression,poor memory,confusion, etc.. The key is balance in diet. And psychedelics, it gives you temporary euphoria but you're crave for more, messing your brain eventually. Thanks for the educational post @matrjoschka


Thanks for all the insights, and for reading @phillip20steem

I agree that many of the things society tells us will lift depression are actually ways to send us deeper into it.

Instead, you must view your depression as something that is a problem with YOU. You should constantly individualize your experience and seek ways to 'fix' yourself or 'get better'. Do not consider the possibility that society needs to fix itself collectively.

Awesome post, I think this idea of a sick society is something that is not brought up enough.

It's like that saying: Fish don't know they're in water.


Thanks @v4vapid :)

Yes, that fish and water problem is an enduring one!

Someone who really opened my eyes to 'mental illness' as a symptom of society, not the individual, was R.D. Laing. I love his work.

A great read!

As someone who's suffered in the past, I cut down on 1, used 2, stopped 5, threw 6 away, and cut down on 8 and I'm feeling so much better these days and years!


Thanks for reading @abh12345

Glad to hear you are feeling good!

4. I'm so glad I went vegetarian over 2 years ago. Meat slows the body down and makes you feel sluggish. That is one of the main reasons why I stopped eating meat. Well that and the fact that I no longer want to kill animals.

#6. Career!?!? What is that? Misery for many. Exploitation pays as you said. Sad but true. Who's gonna hand me a paycheck for encouraging people everyday? Oh who's gonna give me a paycheck for taking care of my daughter?

The things that matter and make a positive difference often are not first in line on job boards or career sites. What's the point of those job site and career sites? They need zombies or robots. Both are preferred.


Thanks for sharing your experiences, @humanearl

Yes, our economic system seems often to reward those who do the most damage to society.

I hope it will evolve.

Thanks for reading!

really ?

you're telling us how to get into depression :-O well I'm already depresses and done some of above said things before reading them.

btw great Message with a unique style

thanks for sharing

Lots of insight here! I can tick many boxes unfortunately... 🤔


I ticked all the boxes until a few years back.
Unticking them is a long process but worth it.

Thanks for reading!

want to get depressed check sbd prices falling lol :D perfect nightmare


Ha :)

I trust things will improve and stabilize.
At every level of the fractal universe.

Life finds a way.

Wow, awesome post! I am happy to get out of my old mantras more and more and explore the reasons for it. I think it is still some way to go until I overcome some of my old behaviour patterns for they eventually pop up when I do not expect it but I have faith in the future. Thank you for sharing this post.

Good reading this post


Thank you.


Having suffered from depression, this is exactly what people need to hear. Very well written!


Thanks @derekcowan

I wrote this from personal experience. I'm glad you could relate to it.

The psychedelic suggestion, whilst not necessarily wrong, can be dangerous. I acknowledge you do suggest a safe setting, but that in itself can be ambiguous.


I agree, there is some risk to taking psychedelics outside a safe setting.

However, I feel it is much more dangerous not to take psychedelics, since the symptoms of not taking psychedelics are: War; violence; racism; gender inequality; abuse of children.

The dangers of taking psychedelics are generally emphasized more than the dangers of not taking them :)


War; violence; racism; gender inequality; abuse of children

Yeah you're going to need to give that substance.

Also reading the rest of your post not sure how you link eating meat and having a career to depression.


It’s perhaps only dangerous not to take psychedelics if you are already experiencing these symptoms. Having not taken psychedelics myself, I can’t say this for sure. But personally I don’t have the symptoms you list. It is, however, possible that I cause the symptoms indirectly by, for example, accepting as a Christmas gift, a woollen scarf.

Your eating meat link is fully logical and I’m not sure how that could be effectively argued against. I recently watched an episode of Barney, a purple dinosaur who took children to a farm. Importantly, it was an arable farm. Imagine the narrative tangle they would have got into if it carried livestock!

‘Careers’ is surely a little sweeping. How about a career as an occupational therapist or nurse?


Thanks for the feedback @lenskonig

Your acceptance of a woollen scarf is not an ecological faux-pas on par with fracking, so let's not dwell on that.

As for not taking psychedelics, I still feel that is a dangerous choice since they are essentially a mirror for the brain, and it's worth taking a look in the mirror once in a while (in a safe, supported setting). Even if it's just a bit of jam on your chin needs wiping off (metaphorically).

Interesting to hear about what Barney is up to these days. Barney is vegan.

Re: Careers — You're right, it is perhaps too sweeping, but I hoped to capture the flavour of a certain kind of work; work where the objective is not to really produce anything of value to the community, but simply to progress through a series of arbitrary job titles until you become regional manager of a fracking company.


Think you replied to the wrong person

9 out of 10! I think I need to go see a psychiatrist.


oh no! Haha :) Yes.

Thanks for reading!

Very interesting post. Especially the psychedelics part. Imagine if psychedelics were legal, and alchohol was illegal. The world would be so completely different. So different we can't imagine.


Thanks @arsenal49
Yes, things would be so radically different.
Hopefully a society that embraces psychedelics can emerge in the future.

I'm not sure if this is useful advice, but it most definitely was an interesting read:)

Thank you for helping others by your post...well said everything....loved reading your post.


Glad you enjoyed it @universalpro. Thanks!

Insightful, articulate and strangely entertaining! Nice work.

Good posts

WTF did I just read?

Resteem really good read

Hahahaha really yeah it's real i know if we take alcohol more than excessive quantity then we started think more than before and it cause depression. You do great research and found way to get depressed but in other way this post help the people too because they starts avoiding this things. Thanks @matejoschka for opening our eyes.
Really grrat content ever


You're welcome, @ameerkhan
Thank you for reading.

Help...i do 60 - 70% of these and I am still not depressed. Something must be wrong with me. Nice article...though some thing that has most effect on someone, may have no effect on the other. Long period of idleness does it for me.

Suka saya

Thanks for sharing. It was great to read your post. I agree with you on almost all points. A good psychologist does not want to see you in a dependency relationship, but shows you your personal patterns. In Germany, licensed psychologists with health insurance approval tend to be overcrowded and there are long waiting times. And to the patterns: Often we only live in repetition - only when we recognize and consciously live these patterns can they dissolve. Thank you and good evening


Thanks, @love-your-wild

I agree there are some good psychologists, but sadly not many.

And, yes, pattern repetition is the problem. Awareness is the solution :)


:-) have a great new year!!!

Love the way you presented this ! excellent.

I don't agree with some of your perspectives, but a lot of them are very poignant.

Great post!


Thanks for reading, and for the feedback @lucylin.

depression is easy to get but difficult to get out

life goes on and on in the circle

How about imbibing ideas from the novels and movies that life is full of happiness and relationships are filled with perfection and rainbows :D
That kind of pre conception will trigger unnecessary depression too


Hi @vishal09
Yes, Hollywood-induced romantic delusions are problematic.


getting depressed lead us to no where in life its better to find a way :)
Excellent article great information along with it :)
Wishing you a Happy New Year!


Thanks @cutiepie
Happy new year!

Some of these I totally agree with. Some I definitely don't.

Particularly #5. The "global animal holocaust"?!? LMFAO Let's ignore the fact that we've been eating meat longer than we've been able to be sarcastic...
Are predatory animals also in on this "holocaust"? Don't they also kill animals and eat them?

Then #6 seems to sound like you're saying depressed people shouldn't have nice jobs... maybe I'm hearing that wrong. But #7 kinda sounds the same way about children, though that one is a little more descriptive of how one would raise a child while dealing with depression.

You also kinda imply that if someone is depressed, there's a good chance they were sexually assaulted as a child. That's a little much, and you site absolutely no references for any of the statements you make in this post.

I've dealt with depression for over 20 years. I know exactly where it stems from, remember it vividly, and just about every day, yet my depression is no better than it was when I was a teenager.

I've never been a drinker, but I certainly know first hand how psychedelic can have a positive effect on one's outlook.

I realize you wrote this in such a manner as to try and be funny or sarcastic, but all in all, I find it pretty distasteful. To someone who actually suffers from this misunderstood condition, you've swung wide and missed your mark with ideas like being a vegetarian will help your depression...

Hahha very nice, I think you are almost spot on here..


Thanks for reading :)

Friend awesome post I inspire you


Thank you. I'm glad you inspire me :)

I am impressed with your post.
may i follow you.


Thanks, @semi23

Yes, you may follow me. Thanks for asking :)

What a great post, I am going to bookmark this.

he phoenix, how do you use mdma in save setting to heal eachother, what dose u use how many people. i have lost of experience with lsd , especially with microdose. for me is already less than 1ug enough. can one microdose also mdma or is it more for one day settings. you can aswer me also on email
if u have a blogpost that refering to this questions just send me the link.

thanks also for your speech on vimeo. i like the aspect of healing/acting outside of chamanic or therapist setting
what do you think about autisic spectrum, asperger,.. are the just terms to supress the past or does it help to get to the cause?

Nicely written. You are showing that we are at 'cause' of many of the factors contributing to depression.

10 Ways To Feel Bloody Amazing Every Day

  1. Sing and dance every day.
  2. Eat real food that comes from the ground.
  3. Practice a daily gratitude ritual.
  4. Take 100% responsibility, especially for what you blame other people for (especially family).
  5. Be in nature.
  6. Be of service to others.
  7. Exercise in ways you love most days.
  8. Live your dream.
  9. Let go of "should", "have to", "but", "can't" and "try".
  10. Nurture yourself a little every day and a lot once per week.