Get out of stage - Decide for yourself about your feelings

maritagrabowski (52)in #psychology • 6 years ago (edited)

Is your boss, your partner or somebody else really pissed of and you feel totally misunderstood and bad?
The bar of chocolate or the potato chips must serve, to fill the painful feeling of anger and sadness and your longing for love and recognition?

picture: dotigabrielf www.pixabay.com

⁉️ I'll ask you directly

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
For what reason do you let others decide how you feel? YOU ALWAYS have the choice of how you react. Do you get on the stage and play in each other's game, or do you stay in the auditorium and keep the objective observer position?

No matter how someone deals with you, it is NOT your thing. It's HIS thing. You can learn a lesson for yourself, but factual and not emotional. Draw the rip line and take responsibility for your being, feelings and emotions. Now you may say:"Yes, but how should I do it if my partner is so unfair to me" or "But how should I react if my boss is always complaining"?

It's very simple: change something or stop whining. You don't help anyone, and you don't help yourself when you get into each other's game. It robs your energy and you feel unloved and bad. Ask yourself: What do you get, going around the world moaning, moody and nagging? What feeling would instead help you feel good?

So what to do?

Don't go on stage in the first place. Keep the factual observer position, stay with you and don't let yourself be overwhelmed by your feelings. If that's not possible, get out of the situation. You can't change your counterpart! If he chose anger, that's his thing, but you don't have to do that to yourself. More importantly, you now remain in your power and realize that the words addressed to you are not your truth. Connect to your values, your goals and draw the power from it to stay steadfast.

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Picture: Marita Grabowski www.maritagrabowski.de

And what if you did get back on stage?

Yeah, hey, you really think you can turn everything over 100 percent right now? I've been practicing this for years and, in a few cases, it's still happening to me.
Shit happens.
Straighten up, shoulders backwards, chest out, breathe deeply and see how wonderful you are. And if you really messed up on stage, be sorry. Because that is true strength!