It's not exactly armchair given the growing body of research out there on this issue. My son is also challenging (I have two as well daughters). Children don't have the capacity for empathy or the mirror neurons that adults do. It's a huge challenge dealing with this reality, especially when it seems like no other option works. I think there are things that work, but unfortunately most parents (my self included) are not equipped with the tools or training needed to not resort to inflicting physical pain ("stimuli" sure sounds nicer though). It's also a very difficult topic to discuss because we are so deeply invested in our children. Our love and fear roll together to make it hard to think in terms of data and rationality. Here's hoping we can all grow towards a more peaceful future by raising children who don't respond to coercive authority, but to love and reason.