Because the night belongs to us

I ride home. Finally the air seems to have cooled off just enough for me not to get an instant sweat outbreak. I'm going 34.2 kilometers per hour downhill between the parked cars so I need to keep my head straight before I tip over into the ditch behind the cars. But the light flashes in the back of the scenery are lighting up the mountains and it is distracting, my eyes get pulled into there. Only when there is a flash of light, you can see how big the mountains actually are. When the flashes aren't there, it is just black.

I'm not wearing my noise cancellers with music in there now. On my way towards there I can't stand NOT having music on, but on the pitchblack way home, it always feels like all of my senses are entirely opened to everything around. It is sometihing that I want, that I like. Being aware of that moment. being aware of how different the night is.

My colleagues like to call me the 'Nacht Eule' which means Night Owl, for my sharp preference of working at night. I am just sharper, more on my A-game, and most of all, more myself. I thrive of thinking for everybody who is not there during the day, thrive on making emergency decisions. The night belongs to me.

On my bike I notice how different the smell is during the night. It always smell fresh, like new life. Is this why so many babies are born during the night? Because the smell is so much more natural? The asfalt still reflects heat back at me, it has been soaking in all day and is now shining back at full force to whoever is willing to indulge it.

I decide to sit on my balcony. Something is strange with the color of the sky. The blackness has a second color over there. I have all my windows and doors open, but there is not a knot of wind to be found. The radar tells me that somewhere on the other side of the lake, which is super close to me there is a gigantic stormcloud. Couldn't it come just a bit closer to me for a bit? It would love some wind and rain to compliment this weird situation on my balcony of me being super aware of everything that is happening around me. That is why the color of the sky is so weird, trouble is hanging just around the corner. For absolutely no reason I feel the need to stay awake either until it is light, or until it starts to rain. Neither one is happening

I think about other nights. About how in every country where I have worked nights I have felt very in place which doing so. The calmness on the way back, after you did something else for another human being. Is that where people get their peace from? I saw this program earlier in the week, of a lady who was visiting the family company of a funeral home. They found so much peace in what they were doing, they were always comforting someone else. Would that be something for me? Would helping people with their grief require enough of my A-game to actually get enough satisfaction to also take the misery that comes along with this?

I think about logistics of stuff that I have to do in the upcoming days. Even though it is all fun stuff, it still needs to time to get everything into place. My mind gets distracted again by flashes in the distances, but no thunder following after that. Is this how meditation should feel? But that is about focussing right, not letting the mind drift off to anywhere else, and my mind is drifting like a madmen.

I think about a couple of the sick ones that I saw recently, I dont recall a single name, and I hope that they are doing good in their own places. I think about how bad my neighbor lady has her kids under control and I hope that they wont wake me too early with their shouting. I think about if I want BTC already to rise, or if that I want more time to accumulate a bit more with these small trades I have been doing. Is that even worth the effort, or will I be laughing later on. I think about that I have only 1 coffee tab left for tomorrow morning.

The smell of the sky changes again. I hear gentle drops falling on the leaves of the tree in front of me. It is time to go to bed.