What is the 90/10 principle?
The writer Stephen R. Covey states that only a small part of the events in our life depends on the circumstances, and it is we who decide how our day will go. He points out that we can not control in any way 10% of the events in our life, but what we are responsible for, is how we react to them and and consequently the quality of our day will depend on it.
I want to give as an example something that happened to me last week. I set the alarm clock and I am the one that wakes up my son, but that day I did not hear it, I turned it off unconsciously or you know what happened. The truth is that when I opened my eyes it was too late to take him to university. I went to his room, woke him up and apologized. He told me: "Dont worry, dad, it is also my responsibility to put the alarm clock, do not feel bad that I will ask a classmate for the notes."
What would have happened if he got upset? Most likely we would probably have discussed, I probably would have told him that it was his responsibility to also set the alarm and that he could not leave the whole burden to me. The bad mood would have reigned between us, and from then on it could have spread to other people generating more unpleasant moments. Fortunately, it was not like that, his reaction not only made me feel good, but it caressed my heart to see how understanding and responsible his comment was.
Another example happened to me on Friday. I was waiting for the traffic light to be in favor, and when it was set, a motorized car went through me, so I had to stop without touching it, but he got upset, started to make insults that would not make sense to mention here. I kept silent because I did not want to fill my soul with his rage, and once he left I asked God to have compassion on him and help him, that would be the burden he had on him. I understood that it was not something personal towards me, but that his interior was full of anger, perhaps unconsciously compensating a deep sadness or despair in his life.
With these examples I hope you can see that although there are events that happen and are out of your control, you are the one who decides what to do with them, with what attitude to handle them, how to react, and from there you can have a good or bad day.
Today I wish you can apply this principle in your day to day, and that your 90 is so positive that the 10 does not affect you, do not get depressed, do not fill you with rage, but it is an opportunity to do better, make it different
so beautiful....
As a follower of @followforupvotes this post has been randomly selected and upvoted! Enjoy your upvote and have a great day!
Great examples itadakimasu. You know this is really interesting. I was actually thinking about the same situation just this morning. Lately i feel that i am letting too much of the things that happen around me affect my mood. I was particularly thinking about my morning commute and on my way back from work. During the hours that i am on my way to work, there is always a lot of traffic and all the public transportation is completely crowded. It happens that a lot of people are frustrated during that time, because maybe there may not be space in a train, others don't want to clear the way for the rest. The outcome is that many are always full of this rage, anger and feeling inpatient. Now i am not the kind of person who is easily angered, but i have to admit that lately i seem to be letting the attitude of others affect me, and some of that anger and rush has transferred to me. On my way back home i was thinking about this and telling myself, "please don't do this, is not you" We make the decisions that matter the most, the decisions to not get angry, to rather be helpful and try to give a smile to those who are feeling frustrated. I feel just that way, that we can be in charged and control how our days go. Great post! Upvoted!
I really like this post. I'm reading a book by Anne Lamott at the moment and she talks about remembering we're all up to our necks in it.
Your traffic story made me think of this. The person running the light, honking their horn or cutting you off is up to their neck in it too. Whatever 'it' might be. The world needs more drivers who think like you 😊