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hmm, maybe a shaman can give you better advice, really, I believe those are the only persons knowing how to deal with these strange behaviors of the human brain....hope you can find a way to relief yourself somehow

Just don't laugh now, OK? I started from some kind of a shaman. And ran away during his attempts to get "evil spirits" away from me. In my country such people are good only at taking money away from customers

then maybe he was no shaman, real shamans don´t even take money for healing, but as well I think it´s really hard to find a real and good one. Where do you come from?

I'm from Ukraine, no real shamans here:(

keep your head up, try to enjoy what brings joy to you, life is too short to do any other things (as well with the thoughts, suppose you are very aware that them create our reality....and sometimes the ego can be a real silly mtfcka and just trying to fool us ;) keep painting ;)

or just paint and draw away the pain, seems to help you ;) maybe its the source trying to speak through you that way, you have really great drawings!!

Thank you!:) Yes, that's the only thing that really helps. And my dog

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