Greatly appreciate you comprehensive answer, @erh.germany! Your example is so spot on! I witness so often how we neglect or even dismiss developing our communication skills because we assume that the simple fact that we communicate all day long makes us master-communicators. My question was aimed at couples without children but I can still extract a lot of useful tips from your answer. Appealing to the univarsal instinct of avoiding harm for both parties in a calm, peaceful manner seems a really great, blame-free strategy.