Power and control issues. A direct correlation to traumas during life, for myself, it dates back to early years. Anxiety is certainly associated with this, almost to a point of debilitation at times.
I try to visualize everything in terms of matter, moving around, boundless in it's possibilities, completely random in its nature, but even this thought, as true as it may seem, or even be, is not easy to adhere to.
I could fruitlessly type away and explain exactly where my tribulations with alcohol brought me over the course of the first 12 years of my adult life, but I can't see how it really matters. I was not able to cope. It's really as simple as that. If you can use your imagination, I am sure you can pretty much sum it all up.
I have taken Cognitive Processing Therapy to address my PTSD, I've taken mindfulness groups on more than one occasion, attended counseling services, and long ago gave up gambling my mental health with experimental psych meds. (Of course the doctors still try to push them on me) but I had to really face my own issues to successfully put down the drink. That was 15 months ago. I still have a load of work to do. My biggest issue today is acceptance of my powerlessness over every and all aspects of life. I am aware I can influence outcomes, but truly I know I cannot stop or change any of the possible variables that will indeed occur. Murphy's law..ever present in my mind.
Mindfulness has proven to be the most helpful to me, but putting into practice? Very hard at times. Anxiety is a really hard physiological response to control. Biochemical reactions are powerful, and we know their thought provoked. Rewiring that subconscious, no easy task. I continue to work on this, and I am very grateful to see blogs like yours. Literature that makes a difference in people's lives.
The latest book I was able to get my hands on is called "The healing power of the breath" Techniques to reduce stress and anxiety, enhance concentration, and balance emotions. It even comes with an audio CD! way cool. I go into all this with an open mind, and I cannot perceive how it could adversely affect me, considering adoption of these ideas has helped me tremendously in my journey of recovery from both substance dependency, and trauma.
I will return to read more of your blogs. Thank you for this.
Thank you @futuremind. It is not easy, and you have a plate full! However, you are here, the worst is over and you have survived. That is a major something! I have replied to you on your blog, just would like to suggest a few things for you if I may:
-1 hr docu/movie on YT: Samadhi
I also have a good friend @camuel, who has also had 'tribulations' with alcohol, he blogs and vlogs about it.
And my friend, we are not powerless, we have just given it away. We can take it back and no power in the universe can stop us, except for ourselves!
I'll see you around 🔆 🔆 🔆
Thank you for the resources @barge, I will check out this documentary tonight. I'm looking forward to it!
It's certainly not easy. I no longer crave the drink. When my anxiety is bad, I seem to crave it, but I know that is an illusion. What I am really, actually craving is anxiety relief, and the more tools I obtain to naturally relieve it, the better off I will be. Thank you for your time, and conversation my friend. I look forward to speaking with you again!
If you enjoy the doc, there are some guided meditations associated with it which should come up in the suggestions on YT. You mentioned 'mindfulness', what about meditation? It is considered to be the most (by a long distance) effective way to treat acute anxiety....also, if the mind is saying 'this isn't working', it is probably not the case that it isn't - we can just observe the games as they play out, no action required (including thought :).