When I was growing up, being "selfish" or "self-centered" was one of the worst things you could possibly be.  

Google's definitions:

selfish:
adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure

self-cen·tered:
adjective
preoccupied with oneself and one's affairs.

Whatever the cost, it was not acceptable to put the self first.  We became a generation of people who spent more energy on making sure others were comfortable with our behavior, that others didn't get offended by our words or actions, and that the needs of others were met before our own.  In fact, we were taught to always offer the best to another-- it was "selfish" to even serve yourself the bigger piece of pie or the last bite on the platter.

We've been constantly making ourselves acceptable to others, and there has been no room for us to completely express and be ourselves.  We haven't truly been ourselves, so how can we truly love who we don't even know? 

It's so rare to find people who love themselves.  Since we have no frame of reference for what that means, we place judgment upon those traits.   We use the hot label "narcissist" these days to let people know we are condemning their ability to love themselves "too much".  Who decides what "too much" is?  Generally the person making the judgment call, who likely doesn't love themselves much at all.

Google's definition of a narcissist is: 

nar·cis·sist
noun
a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
"narcissists who think the world revolves around them"

That description is interesting to me, since the truth is that the world does revolve around us.  If we were not in the equation, our world would not even exist.  It only exists because we are in it and if we're going to be in it, we might as well enjoy ourselves to the fullest.  How can we truly enjoy ourselves if we are not in full honor and appreciation of ourselves.  I find it silly that we should tame our self love, for without first loving ourselves, we cannot truly love another.   We are limited to loving others only to the heights of which we can love ourselves.  We have not learned to love ourselves unconditionally, never being blessed to believe we deserve it.

Heaven forbid, we would think highly of ourselves, speak highly of ourselves, appreciate our own worth, hold true to our values without compromise, and give ourselves the optimum care.  How dare we do what is in our own best interest and look out for number one.  How dare we put ourselves first so we engage our other relationships from a  healthy and empowered perspective. How dare we be responsible for our own existence and give to the world our grandest version of ourselves.

Now, I am not condoning being a "selfish beast".  I am aware that some people are way over the top in being selfish--but from my perspective that does not come from self love, but compensating for not enough self love--for wanting others to believe they are more than they are by putting up a facade to protect and deflect their own self-hatred.  

In true self love, putting the self first has great rewards. For if one loves the self, they will then be able to love another.  And at the same time, if one does unto another as one would do unto the self, if the  intention is to treat the self with unconditional love, the other will be loved to a very high degree as well.

A phrase from Michael Jackson's song - "I'm looking at the man in the mirror--I'm asking him to change his ways...." has been swimming around in my head for a couple of days now. It has multiple meanings for me and the one that pertains to this topic is.... that if we better ourselves, our "selfishness" will pay off in service to making the world a better place, one person at a time.  Since we can only change ourselves, this is THE place to start.  I believe we will find that if we love ourselves, we will inherently love others, so there is nothing to do but start right here at home with the self!

We are our own piece of art.  
At the risk of judgment and labels, we must do the work to find true love for ourselves.  Remembering our worth and taking care of our best interests,
we will do the world and all of humanity a great service.  

Be your own best lover, friend, and confidant.  
Respect yourself and hold yourself accountable to be the best you you can be.  

Give the world the ultimate gift--the gift of the highest and grandest version of yourself you can possibly give!