RE: ---- Women Abusing Men Is Normalized In Our Society ----
Among the many beechnuts I find a truffle. Thank you for this interesting contribution. I am especially pleased that your text has no atmosphere of anger and resentment and that the eternal battle of the sexes is not the topic here. Which would be very tiring and unnecessary.
The "normality" of which you speak gives to think and to feel. The causes of abuse are well known in psychology, so I think an excursion into philosophy is also very interesting. How much do you sniff at the university in other faculties?
I want to note that you took the courageous step of critically questioning your professor's way of lecturing. He should have been very pleased - after the first horror of a self-knowledge delivered by a student!
I hope he understood it with the appropriate wisdom. Did he say anything to you afterwards?
These are moments in life that you can call heroic without exaggerating them or sunbathing in a false glow that you have exposed somebody. I therefore find it all the more remarkable that you have not made any further derogatory remarks.
You have entered a very complex field: Abuse. Quite "simply", without realizing it, you could also have become an abuser of the professor by criticizing his error in a dishonorable way, and you and your fellow students living out in him some malice that was compensated for by others in you. How quickly one becomes from victim to perpetrator is always fascinating and is portrayed in many films and literature.
Only recently I had a female client in my consultation who jumped between the two "profiles" and tried to process a recent separation in total confusion. There were clear statements to be heard on the subject and I have not let myself be fooled when people try to conceal an abusive behaviour. By body language and the choice of their words it comes anyway to the light. I come straight to the point, but before I do, I have to whistle back my own inner blood hounds and be at peace with myself. We know abusers are fearful and insecure.
One treats what is hurt and contradicts what injures.
Thank you for the comment @erh.germany. i believe the victim mentality is preventing us from seeing the true enemy in the fight against abuse.... is abuse. Many spend much of their time debating who is the greater victim, which often includes dismissing other victims to bolster position.
The prof. took it well and admitted that his actions were indeed the behavior which had been outlined withing the lecture. I do think that the method of approach is what matters in these situations, the intent was not to ridicule, but to question so as to understand.... because lets be real here, if the person who is well versed and is teaching does not abide by what is being taught it is a perfect opportunity to dissect the situation and learn about HOW these things happen. I may not agree with what is explained , but i want to understand.
The fact is that we are all capable of being the abuser or the victim of abuse, not just of same sex , opposite sex, but also of animals, substances and ourselves... what i hope we realize is that it is the abuse we must focus on. The patterns, the circumstances, the environments, etc. if we UNDERSTAND how abuse works, then we have the ability to intervene when it happens be it others to us, us to others, and us to ourselves.
I am happy to hear that the teacher took it professionally:) Really important to know.
People do realize those things quite a lot, compared to our knowledge 100 or even 50 years ago. Change in behavior as well as in mentality is difficult as we humans are not known for patience towards ourselves. Often conflicts or wars come into our way and we must all start anew with the healing of the following generations. It will always be a job for the professionals as well as for everyone on a personal level to stay brave, to ask questions and to strive towards maturity and wisdom.