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RE: Shame and fear of who we have been. Why?
Your parents have been young too and they most likely did things their parents forbid. This is what parenting is about: setting boundaries, that their child will pass.
If you were opening on what you did, they would probably tell what they did when they were young...
I mean, I don't think that would surprise or deceived your parents if they knew about it, this is part of teen life.
I do not think they would be surprised to be deceived. That point would likely create upset and then we would all never speak of it again. However, there are many aspects of my natural self and choices I make which would result in familial eviction as my parents prefer the comfort of binaries (Good/Bad, Heaven/Hell, yes/no, male/female) to the possibilities of life.