WHY IS YOUR BOSS THE WAY HE IS?...and how to change the game

in #psychology8 years ago (edited)

If you understand the process, you can change the course of actions.

Why is my boss the way he is?
If you never ask this question, you are the prick boss.
Before I seriously insult someone, let me say there is not enough time and space try not generalizing and of course there are exceptions. I had one and I still would if our CEO didn´t insist on minimum waes. Luckily he is my best friend now and we continue to make stories of our lifetime.

But let´s focus on those who are having a hard time at the moment.

Bosses can be insulting, manipulating, intentionally misleadning and we go on and on.

Work could be done better in positive atmosphere. Leaving work with good energy is something we all strive for, right? Apparently not.
But why is that?
What is the reason that drives bosses into an energy-vampire rampage that drinks employee´s energy to keep his own up?

If you understand the process you can take it as non-personal. You can cope with the situation, secretly change the course of actions, or maybe change your job if it feel hopeless.

OKAY! Let´s see what the beast is made off.
There are more than one possible reasons for this and it´s multilayered. But we will cover the basis for it.

Being a boss takes more time than a usual job would. So let´s say your boss spends most of his waking life worrying about the company. If he is the CEO or the owner of the company even more trurth in that.
But a happy and rich life is supossed to be made several things like friendship, familly, off-work activities and so much more, right? Yes and yes.
So this is the ground zero!
Your boss is letting his work define him as a person and that has a lot of side effects on the human spirit.
He wants you to do the same. Sad but true is that sometimes we resent other people´s happines. That´s when you get the worst treatment.
Your boss has little control of his life. The company controls his life. The only thing he has control over is your life.

Do not let your work define you as a person. Have you seen the statistics on the last words on death beds? The most common one is »I wish I worked less and enjoyed my life and people around me more.«.
Closing in is an easy way out.
More people means more problems and it´s just so tempting to get lost in work. People around us can be tough but it´s worth it. We learn, we cooperate, we create. Relationships of all kinds fulfill us, inspire and force us to reevaluate our approaches and actions and that makes us better people.

There is no need for that. He has enough, right?
Imagine your mind being occupied with just one thing all the time. And you know there should be more. What do you do when there is a shortage of something? You defend it.
We are not talking money quantity. We are talking life priorities- because your subconsciousness knows when there is a scarcity of life ingridients. So if your sacrificing so much, are you going to give it away that easy?
What about forces wich are out his control? His boss demands this approach from him. Same thing aaplies for his boss.

Break the habbit, break the rhythm. Do unexpected things.
Instead of going in for the conflict just be affirmative, say yes to everything. Just yes. Nod and say yes. Nothing more. It will create confusion and something more.

Everyone judges himself before going to sleep. And nobody wants to be a bad person at the end of the day. But we have patterns which are hard to avoid.
You as an employee will always pull the shorter end and when you are given an oportunity of a conflict with an angry boss it escalates quickly and you get more trouble than needed.
So instead, create confusion, brake the pattern and offer your boss a chance not to turn out a bad person. He will be thankful the next day.

Ask for it. The approach has to be right, so read a good about that before you jump in and you will do just fine. Or maybe not. Either way it will be an extremely valubale lesson and looking for a new job will bring a world of new opportunities.
Do not do more than you are asked to do. Yes, wrok has to be done with dedication, but do not put 200% of yourself in there. Be the person who is smart with disposing his energy and motivation and you will be trated that way. Instead of doing more than you´re instructed to do, do it with more accuracy and quality.

Remeber what we talked about before. Your boss wants your life to be controlled. Do not let that happen. It´s not right, it´s not healthy. Find good, diplomatic ways to say no and never feel guilty for doing so. And they will try to make you feel guilty.


Yes, a second ago I told you to avoid conflicts. Sometimes. Be a bit unpredictable.
Create a conflict...but only when you are 100% right. Morally and legally. And when your boss has a good day.
And next time you will be treated as a person who has limits and someone who won´t stand being treated badly.

At the end, I wish to encourage you to strive for respect of others and respect for yourself. You will get as much as you give.
Take control of your destiny, take care of your life, you´re the only one who can.
Use these words the best way you can. I went through the worst and the best to put them into a form and practice. Maybe they will save you time, energy and pain.

Take care of yourself and those around you.

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Really great article! I'm including it in my TOP5 Lucky Find Psychology articles for today!

Aleksandra...thank you so much again.

The triune or triple stacked brain. reptile.mammal, human.
each brain has a cv. Reptile 500 million years ,mammal 100 million, human 10 million. Amstrad, MSDOS, Windows. All in one stack.
everyone is a crocodile a zebra and a human.
psychopaths float in vertical authoritarian conditions.
we just live here.

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