"slight discomfort 'they' (meaning Alex) is feeling." - just to add to the confusion. "They" is plural, "is" is singular. So it should read They ARE, except THEY IS is correct as you are referring to one person.

Sorry, I did not study English for many years just to have a group of people come along and tell me I am wrong because it hurts their feelsies.

"You are a dirty little maggot" is offensive. She when referring to someone obviously female (or he when male) is not offensive, regardless of how they feel. Communication is structured for a reason, so that we can actually converse and exchange ideas, and know what we are talking about.