RE: Yes, They're Probably Talking Behind Your Back.
"Ideally, a person shouldn't care what others think about them."
Colin, as members of a society with established social 'rules' upon which to guide our behavior, I sincerely and respectfully disagree with the first line of your post.
As we learn to socialize ourselves in the early years, our positive behavioral patterns are reinforced and negative behavioral patterns are punished; thus we learn to live as functional members of society.
Most of us, myself included, certainly take the thoughts of others (regarding us) WAY too far, perhaps even to the point of anxiety or paranoia; but as we continually learn to be highly functional members of society, the input from other members of that society does, potentially, offer us utilitarian insight into how our behavior is received by others.
Occasionally the shit-talking IS warranted (think the drunk guy at a party, the dude who's rude and doesn't know it, the fella who forgets he has a turn signal at his disposal)...
Great article as always, and you may wish to edit your 'psychology' tag which is misspelled.
Have a great week Colin!
Thanks for the alternative perspective on this topic.
I would agree that living in a society, we shouldn't completely neglect the opinion or advice of others. We are a social species and to totally disregard the views of others can have serious consequences. Indeed, constructive criticism certainly has its place, and sometimes we need to be reminded of our faults in order to improve.
I suppose I'm referring to the frivolous, superficial, unhelpful kind of backtalk and specifically our paranoia that such talk is occurring. As with anything, balance is essential.