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RE: Why Did I Join Project Milkbox? My Story + Enter The Tell Your Story Challenge!!!
I lost track of my daughter for 20 minutes once when she was about 6 years old. I can still remember the absolute terror that struck me. It felt like HOURS and I was sobbing hysterically when she was found... it was an innocent mistake on her part (and then she was scared to come out because she was afraid she'd get in trouble), but it made me realize that was just a TINY spark of what other parents go through. I can not imagine.
Mine happened when the boys were 1 and 3. I failed to install the top door stopper, and they got out. I didn't know it yet, but that was the beginning of my recovery from drinking.
Its so scary to realize how one little mistake can result in such circumstances. That is why I try not to judge situations when parents make mistakes that have catastrophic results. You just never know what they're dealing with.
As for the alcohol... That is a hard way to start, but I'm glad you were able to recover from it. I know it's not an easy thing to do! I gave up my nightly habit almost exactly one year ago and it has been a great thing.
I really liked that article by @maverickfoo. "Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are".
I think judgement is better left to judges. Lol. I don't ever seem to be qualified and when I do it, it's usually to avoid something that I'm not dealing with. :)
Here's a perspective I have now that came out of all this. People have judged me. I know they have.
But think about a person who makes a quick judgement on one part of a person's story. They never give that person an opportunity to seek redemption, pay retribution, and ultimately make wrongs in this world right again.
How useful is that? What purpose does it serve? I still haven't found a good answer to either question.
I don't think it serves any purpose, but I long ago stopped worrying about what other people thought of me. I know that I don't fit the mold and that other parents/adults quite often don't like me, don't approve of me and think I'm doing things wrong. In the end, I have 5 wonderful, mostly adult kids that I am very proud of. They all stop by multiple times a week just to hand out and talk with me (or to bring me food so we can have lunch together). They're all individuals that don't feel the need to "fit" anyone else's standards... so I think I did something right. And as far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter how OTHER people choose to raise their children (or do ANYTHING) as long as they aren't hurting others. I'm a big proponent of using my energy for positive things and worrying about myself. Honestly, I don't even understand how some people have so much time to judge others. I mean, I'm pretty busy just worrying about getting my own stuff done!
I think you're awesome and it sounds like you have a wonderful attitude towards others and about life in general. Keep on doing what you're doing!