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Have you ever been offended?

Well, I think we can all agree that as long as you're a human being, you have at one point or another been offended. It's something that is bound to happen as we all have different personalities and preferences as to what is proper or morally right or wrong.

So knowing that we can be offended, we need to know how to handle it. Because like a ticking time bomb, if it's not defused, it'll soon blow up in our face causing fatal wounds, of which can be avoided if we learn how to handle offence.

What does offence do to us? Is it really that serious?

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Offense always causes hurt. If you're hurt, it is probably because you were offended by someone and thus we say statements like, "I was hurt by so and so."

So just like a physical injury or wound, you'd get checked out or tended to, likewise, an emotional wound or mental damage. However small it may be, must be tended to or it'll soon BE INFESTED WITH MAGGOTS AND YOU'LL DIE!!!! (just some humour. We're learning when we're laughing 😃)

There are of course different degrees as to how deep a wound is, but all wounds can be healed even infested wounds manifesting in depression CAN BE HEALED. You CAN BE happy and healthy.

Offence is a disease. It's a ticking time bomb. Kill offence before it kills you!

Who is responsible for this?

I remember when I was a kid, I would tell my Mum whenever I was offended or hurt by someone and there would be a lot of emotion in it like how THAT person MADE ME angry and she would always tell me, "But you can control yourself and you don't HAVE to be angry."

Man, after some time, I didn't talk to my mother about stuff like this because her answer although TRUE, of which I only figured out later in life and applied it much later in life, really annoyed me!

But now I shall annoy you with my own flavor added to what my Mum used to tell me.

Whenever you say someone MADE YOU angry or "someone OFFENDED ME", what you're really saying is............ I can't control myself so I'm allowing people to control me. I can't think for myself so I'm letting what other's think of me to speak louder than what I think about myself.

The real problem here is not so much of what people did but how you ACTUALLY see YOURSELF! Because if you are secure in who you are, in your identity, in your self-worth...... it's not easy to be offended. You're not easily offended by what people say or do.

The dictionary defines "offence" as ..............

: annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself.

Perceived insult.... PERCEIVED!!!! Can we be humble enough to say that maybe, just maybe, that sometimes, we're offended not because someone was out to purposefully harm us be because we perceived it?

Ah such a bitter pill for us to swallow - reality and truth!

The truth shall set you free - John 8:32

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But I do take responsibility for my actions. People are still jerks to me regardless!

Often many hurts happen not by choice. Nobody wishes to be disliked, or be hurt, or be attacked. As a matter of fact, we like the total opposite to happen to use. We want to be liked, loved, favored, RESTEEMED, UPVOTED!

We aren't responsible for what happens to us but we should and we must take responsibility for what happens within us. The older I grow, the more I realise of how out of control I am of what happens to me externally but what happens to me internally, I'm am fully in control and I am the master of my own emotions.

We can't choose what happens to us but we can always choose how we respond. To be reactive to situations that piss us off or to apply self control and work things out maturely.

We can't always choose what happens to us but we can always choose how we respond.

I read a statement in a book called, 'Culture of Honor' by Danny Silk, that has graced me to make such decisions and still make time and time again.

I honor people not because they deserve it. I honor people because I believe in honor. I love people not because they deserve it. I love people simply because I believe in love. - Danny Silk, Culture of Honor

Being a pastor for 11 years, I've seen and encountered countless relationship problems. I needed to decide early on for the sake of my sanity, that having a job that you'll always be in situations that demands you to make choices of giving second chances and love people even though you can get hurt isn't a great deal, to purely do it because I BELIEVED in it.

So I'm not here to tell you that you SHOULDN'T be offended. Let's not live in denial here and act as if we're alright when we're not. That's not being honest to yourself and what happened to you. You'd be lying eh? So I'm not saying live in denial here, come on. Someone really did or say something that was really hurtful and getting offended was probably valid and rightfully so but what I'm saying is that there is an honourable way of handling things, particularly handling yourself!

Treat yourself with honor!

There's a WAR ON for your MINDS - Conclusion

• We don't always get to choose what happens to use but we CAN always choose how to respond.
• Taking responsibility of your inner world is you being powerful. You can't control what happens externally but you can always control what happens internally. The only legal control is SELF-CONTROL. This is also known as growing up! 💪

Easier said than done right? But that's not the hardest part....... It gets even worse!

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Are you ready? Here goes.......

Even IF you choose to be powerful and make powerful decisions in your life, love people and care for them without any expectation of reciprocation, which by the way puts yourself in an extremely vulnerable position, YOU of all people are THE MOST likely person to get offended, hurt and disappointed.

To that, I'm not gonna tell you what to do or say. I'm not gonna tell you what's the right thing to do, what's the wrong thing to do. What you should or should not be doing. I'm not gonna say, "Hey be friends with the person la. Sayang la throw away years of friendship."

I'll end with a statement, a preposition that my wife said when we were having a casual conversation awhile back.

I don't love because I HAVE TO. I CHOOSE to love because I CAN! - @happycrazycon

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