Welcome to the club Tess! :)
I know well of cognitive dissonance. The best part of waking up isn't knowing, it's coming up with solutions in daily life.

I remember when I first woke up back in 2008, life became a nightmare for a couple months, but I soon realized that waking up was the best thing to ever happen to me. That knowing put me way ahead of the curve and that being ahead of the curve, I could save myself and those around me. It's a positive thing. One has to know the negatives to make positives and that stops us from being at the bottom of the food chain. :)

Have a great day!