And They Dance - A Poem
The tall trees sway.
Underneath, children play,
sing songs in the shade,
prance around the glade.
The happy breeze blows,
and only God knows
what will be, or not;
they give it no thought.
They dance and laugh
while the daylight lasts.
Thanks for reading! It was quite rude of me to originally forget my thanks line. Thanks to @geekorner for talking with me a lot about a few lines here. In the end, a small change was made that made it a lot better, though he did think some bigger changes were needed.
Even though you've accepted almost none of my edits, I like this piece. I think it is one of your best ones, with nary a line wasted, or things that are missing. The images come strong and clear, and more importantly, the feeling does as well.
These two lines in particular are gorgeous. They flow so well together they almost feel as if they rhyme, though they do not. Liquid laughter, these two are.
It's all good!
@geekorner, if your suggested edits that didn't get implemented, the poem is still beautiful as is.
(Now I wonder what you'd have done different with it.)
I love the simplicity of this - the cadence, the rhythm, the "Que sara" and "Live in the Now"
Shades of Eckharte Tolle with vintage Doris Day ...
Mostly a word here and there, to help the flow of things, nothing big :)