Anger......... Rage........ Defeat??
Anger... Rage....Defeat.......
Ah This Anger,
this anger that I thought,
I had under control ,
but now it has begun
to take root again
now it has become undone.
it has moved on
and become a fire burning like the sun,
burning away my strength
leaving me raw and exposed
taking over the whole length
of my being,
leaving me shaking!
feeling my insides
breaking,
broken and bare
my happiness
all for the taking.
all these lies
this mountain that continues to grow
who is this person
standing in front of me
Am I supposed to know?
All of these thoughts
corroding my sense of self,
slowly eating away at me,
I need to step away,
to come out of the heat,
this fire is fierce
within I face defeat.
How did I end up here,
and from here
where
do I go,
Ah the need to scream and yell,
For I am left to wrestle with my pain
I want no part ,
no part in this game.
I will not let this consume me,
I will not let this,
become who I am,
my story may have taken a bitter turn,
But inside
inside
it is peace
that I yearn.
It's funny really, just when you think things are maybe getting to be a little bit more normal, you get slapped in the face again.
It seems I have more to learn, more to feel, more to express and a hell of a lot more tears to shed. So many questions I am left with now, so many issues with trust. Can we ever really know someone. I guess not unless they want you too!
My heading is swimming and I am literally shaking with rage. I know that this can not last, I know that there is always sunshine on it's way. I know, I know, I know........
But right now, right now I want not part in this game that is being woven around me. I can not walk away, I can not disengage, not yet anyhow. So I write and cry and let all this come out, because it cannot stay in. I have a life. I have my 3 girls and they need me more than my anger and my pain.
8 Pillars of TribeSteemUp
Beautiful, wonderful as always. Amidst all the pain, lovely artistic expression. I'm so glad that you recognize the sunshine is just over the horizon. Because it is.
Love, blessings and healing to you and the girls.
-Logan
thank you Logan xxxx
Oooh wow! Yes get it out! Ull be ok darling! Life is a spiral.. we can release even deeper and further when given the opportunity.. just let these feeling arise but try not to hold onto them or make sense of them.. they will breathe through with time.. thats my feeling reading your poem.
Quite often when i am Really upset to my core i can identify a childhood trigger that makes it feel 10x worse .. just identifying that trigger or wounding always really helps me to calm down a lot.. <3 big hug
thank you @eco-alex, things have just got a bit more emotional my end, I am hoping that things are now going to get easier xxx
Oh, beautiful women and mother, I feel you. You are not alone, sending you so much healing energy. The shift is happening and the pain is breaking everything in pieces. I dont know what happened, but you are strong, and under all this, you are pure love.
xxx
Kisses and hugs!
thank you so much for these beautiful words, much love earth mama xx
Wish you a bright Sunday!
xx
I'm back online and what a haunting poem to return to .. I can certainly relate to your eloquently expressed words and I respect you for sharing them. Life is a rollercoaster but out of each low can rise a new high. Much love
thank you @perceptualflaws, I am going through huge changes in my life, I am not longer with my partner and the father of my children and I am finding my way and myself again. Writing has always been great healing for me and it is so good to get things out in the open so that we can move forward. Thank you for you lovely comment and feedback and welcome back, I hope the move went well for you xx´
I'm really sorry to hear this @trucklife-family ... I have been in a broken long-term relationship in the past so I can relate to how difficult it can be. Although it can be difficult to see it in the moment .. life has a strange habit of hiding it's greatest opportunities amongst it's most difficult times. You will find your way and one day you will look back and realise the strength this adversity has given you. Onwards and upwards for you my friend and my promise is that it will get easier. X