Song of the Dead - [Day 1]
"Song of the Dead"
Source: unsplash.com Before I died
you could have wept
my blight to the world;
but you did nothing;
and now you shake the hills
with echoes of your wails.
Before I died
you could have penned
my plight to the world;
but you did nothing;
and now, in grief,
you stir a flood with your nib.
Before I died
you could have sought
a cure for my illness;
but you did nothing;
and now you buy me
an eye-catching casket.
source: unsplash.com Before I died
you could have clad my body
against cold and shame;
but you did nothing;
and now you dress
my dust in silk.
Before I died
you could have fed me
crumbs of yours;
but you did nothing;
and now you serve
a market of mourners.
In memoir,
You tell the guests
I'm the kindest
loveliest, greatest.
Now that I'm gone.
Truly yours,
@samueloption
P. S: Africans (Esp. Nigerians) prefer spending huge sums of money on burial rites (befitting burial or last respect, as some may choose to call it) other than take care of the person while he/she is alive.
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Wonderful piece. I like the way it brings to life the emotions of the rejected and dejected only to be remembered on their passing. I fell in love immediately I finished the poem. Looking forward to seeing more from you
Thank you @enoch158.
It can only get better. Expect the best from me.
This poem resonated with me because I am from a similar background. It is beyond me why people spend so much money on corpses and not on the living.
After combing through your piece several times this line kept popping out to me: "my blight to the world;" Why did you use it? In particular blight. I am trying to see how it fits into the overall flow of the poem where meaning is concerned.
Just a thought by the way.
Thank you @nicholas83.
Of course, we are aware that there are a thousand and one reasons for the cause of death in the world.
The word "blight" is used contextually to direct blame on the bereaved who could have done something - rally for help when he/she - the deceased, was in a damaged cum deteriorated condition - "blight", but the bereaved did nothing.
Your thought is greatly appreciated!
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sorry my account was hacked, please remove the downvotes
I don't know who downvoted you or how downvotes are removed.
Sorry about the hack.
Such a deep and emotional poem. A perfect example of how to deploy imagery to carry the theme of a poem directly into the reader's mind. Wonderful stuff.
The work is set out to appeal to the human conscience. We must show unwavering, unflinching and unalloyed care to the living irrespective of the situation we find ourselves.
Thank you @damianjayclay.
Well penned. My Gran used to say, “I’d rather have one flower today, than to have bouquet on my grave.” There was even a poem with those lines, similar in theme to your poem, which Gran wrote down and kept in her big family Bible; I have her handwritten copy of the poem. The family lore is that my great-grandmother composed it – but it is unsigned.
Nice poem, I totally agree with you
Thank you @atikajayboy
Great poem. I love how you use short but powerful lines. I think this magnified your word choice and symbolism. I also liked how you used reputation. It made the poem itself kind of like a graveyard where the different grave markers were strewn around the graveyard and became uniform.
Thank you @acousticsteveo
We should learn to celebrate people when they are alive, check on them, you dunno what exactly you'll do that will save someone's life.
I won't agree less with you. Care is the life wire of humanity.
This is brilliant. This is not unique to Nigeria or even Africa, this is a relatable human experience.
A great write.
Thank you @girlbeforemirror.
Indeed, it is a relatable human experience that is why the piece is set out to appeal to the human conscience.
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This is excellent @samueloption. Thank you for your submission for day one. Please include day # in your title to help us keep better track, and please add one small link to the Steemit school discord at the bottom of your post.
I loved this deeply emotional and thoughtful piece. Adding you to the advanced section.
Thank you @d-pend.
The necessary corrections have been effected.
Advanced section! What?
Well, let's see how this new challenge will be.
Thank you, great poet.