good job. I really like this poem. In my opinion, the first and fourth stanzas were very strong, written really well. The following lines were the best
"Ascending from darkness in abyss
Unchained from these puppet strings".
Really enjoyed them.
I like to provide some constructive criticism, but take it with a pinch of salt - I am no expert myself, but I do have an opinion.
When it comes to the line "How could my life be so cruel?" - it may be unneccesary. Or I would rather pose it in a different way to emphasise it rather than to put it as a question. Make it dramatic!
Same thing in the third stanza, and I would pay a bit attention to repetition. Using the same words again may lose a bit its strength, especially saying 'hand' 3 times in the same stanza.
Reminder, this is not a professional's feedback, just my opinion and I can be wrong and you can ignore it :)
thank you so much @poetrybyjeremy. I am fascinated by your opinions. Well, I'll take your point, it could be very helpful. I will not ignore your humility- it's so professional. BTW, I have just followed you and read few of your works. twas great and powerful. I'll complete my comment from your post. Hoping to be your friends here.
Thank you! I will go check them out as soon as I finish this comment. Well, I am not a professional myself, I have never studied editing or writing, but I do have experience (writing for 4 years, and reading lots of poems every day).
Every day I find suggestions that I could tell myself too, and I appreciate anyone who tells me what I could do better. That's what Steemit is about, helping each other improve, and not only congratulate each other ;)
and P.S. I only criticise pieces I like because it is worth my time :P