Doom (Poetry)
Doom
A shuttle lands on uneven terrain.
The door slides open;
stale breaths and odours of sweat
escape into a foreign atmosphere.
Ten feet touch sturdy rock,
walking on an unfamiliar surface.
Humanity's fate lies in their hands;
their ancestors long ago doomed Earth
with their toxic fumes and plastic seas.
A sliver of hope -
science sent-off an interstellar ship
to search for a new home.
An exploration that lasted centuries.
Hope was passed on
from one generation to another,
an everlasting flame that dimmed
each time it was passed on to fresher hands.
Amongst black holes and bright stars,
a catastrophic danger went undetected.
In the darkness of the dwindling fire,
blinded people lost their way -
logic flawed and emotion run wild:
“The universe must be punishing us.”
The eternal ship met its mortal fate: self-destruction.
Through an emergency shuttle,
five survivors escaped the assassination
from the devotees who sought
to end the human race
and the curse that lingers in their wake.
They landed, safely, on a planet
where life was strife,
where water streamed upwards
- they stood a chance
to build anew a colony,
repopulate the species.
This time, luck was on their side,
but it would be foolish
to bet all their chips - (Russian roulette).
Instead, they turn to faith,
and build a shrine,
for a god to lead their way.
The same god:
in whose name, the ship was annihilated;
in whose name, human lives were massacred;
in whose name, Earth was doomed to its cruel fate.
First of all, thank you to @whoshim for his feedback on this poem (among others) and helping me out polishing the poem. I would also like to thank @geekorner for his input, and the @isleofwrite for providing a great space!
The inspiration for this poem was a combination of reading a sci-fi poem that @whoshim wrote, and the book Freedom's Fate, which I had read a couple months ago.
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@poetrybyjeremy,
I sense subtle, even subliminal themes, in this poem.
There's an element of conquest, isn't there, Jeremy?
As they contest their fate, they strive to take over a place that doesn't belong to them. It's as if their interstellar crusade is foiled by an almost poetic intervention by the cosmos ... a cosmic 'Quill Fire,' so to speak, saying, "Thou shalt go no further. You have taken too much already."
Disclaimer: I'm not a lunatic. There's more going in this poem than first meets the eye. And we all need to be concerned. :-)
Every reader can see what he pleases, although, I had not planned a cosmic intervention. I wanted more to emphasise how humans repeat in the same cycle of behaviour.
You tell a fun story here. I really like the opening stanza. I like the setting of it, and the end gives a bit to think about.
Thank you! It was definitely one of my favourites to write, so thank you both for the inspiration and the help with the editing. I'm glad you liked the final product ;)
I really think your idea here could be developed into a cool story1!
Well, it originated from a really cool story, the book Freedom's Fate by Jennie Taylor, although, I did adapt it to make it my own. I totally loved the sci-fi theme and the setting of that book!
oh very cool!
i thought you were writing about the atmosphere or something, because the title Doom is broad. It was until the 3rd stanza it reminds me of the movie Armageddon or The Day After Tomorrow, those feels in there =)
WOW...
looking forward for more poems =)
Thank you. Yes, I spent hours choosing a title. I didn't want to give too much in the title, and I didn't want to give too little. I ended up going with Doom, and let the reader figure out the rest of the poem :)
I thought you are doing :P Doom game impersonation hehe . Still Awesome piece
I'm not sure I ever played that game, so I'm not totally sure what it's about :P
Well it is sci-fi fiction series first person shooter probably one of the best series of all time... :)
I love it. The best part is that it’s completely realistic, in terms of human nature. How human it is to spite the supposed cruelty of the world by sacrificing yourself...
Glad you loved it. Indeed, although it is sci-fi themed, it projects the reality of the human race which connects us to the future humans (unless some major evolution occurs). Thank you for the comment :D
I liked how you told a story within a poem. I also enjoyed seeing that you approached a different style than yours. Bravo! The last seven stanzas were a perfect description of the modern society. I loved it!
Seven stanzas? That's almost the whole poem! Thank you - yes, I've been trying to 'change' my styles, to become more versatile and adaptable. It's good to be able to write something that you would love reading :D
This was perfectly disturbing and gloomy. I LOVE IT!
Thank you :D It is my favourite poem that I ever wrote - I worked so hard for it.
Muahahahaahah (in my creepy voice!)
Jerms that poem is so Fuckn Amazing!! I love it to the core, the depths ... plus i love sci fi and rare poems but yours really worked. I love love love it. Yay you and just wow .. :)
Thank you, that really means a lot! I worked the hardest for this poem, to be polished and work well (thanks to the islanders as well). I'm beaming with joy each time someone is commenting such high praise on this poem :P Thank you <3
hey it is great and the hard work shows! yes the comments truly help! xx
Equivalent to a broke curie hahaha
Ahhahahah that’s terrible but excellent ahahhahah