THE DEATH OF THE BEAUTIFUL
I saw her in the parking lot
I knew that she was dying
Her movements gave her away
Death was near
Even in that moment
As the life was draining out of her
She was marvelously beautiful
Yet, Death was near
No one else seemed to notice
Many passed us by
I stood there and watched
Spellbound as Death approached
There was nothing I could do
I knew it was too late
Yet, I yearned to help
Still Death was on the way
Was it her beauty that made me grieve
Would I have noticed her at all
If she hadn't been alluring
But Death did not care
I helped her off the ground
And drove her far away
She would not have to meet
Death in the parking lot
I knew eventually
The grave comes for us all
No beauty can save
For Death does not care
As I watched her die
She didn't seem to mind
Once free and wild she'd fly
Now Death found her on the ground
She barely moved
It was peaceful
And the frame she left
Was beautiful in Death
She had gone
Yet her beauty remained
At least for now
Death could not yet take that
An interest thought on how small things like that make us feel emotions that we have to share...
If you dont mind, small constructive criticsm (of course that is just my opinion ) - Right now it reads too quickly, it has a flow, but there is no stopping it )
Of course the use or unuse of punctuation is often the feel of the writer to pass ovcer a message, but i would use some full stops to stop the reader after some verses (plus you have used 2 comas, so you not agianst it =) )
Thank you for your constructive criticism and suggestions. I appreciate that
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Cool poem. It is sad they only have a short life span, such magnificent looking creatures.
Yeah, in the grand scale of things, I guess our lives ain't that much longer....
Life is but a vapor, eternity last forever..
Right on....
very true.
It makes me appreciate the next generation more.
Very moving.
Thank you!
Beautiful.
Thanks.