To the Lion Girl: Letter to Myself in the Past

Letter to Myself in the Past

Oh, wise little one
How you know
Exactly what to do
In your abstract way

You led me back
Instructed me in
How to feel
Encrypted in symbols

Golden girl
Let me sit with you
A while
Let you fill me in

Wounded girl
I listen to you today
In the spirit of my pain

Let me reconnect to you
Golden girl
Severed past

It was you all along
You are the me, who was the you
Broken and beaten till numb

To resent my adult form--
I hear the abuser's voice in my ear.

You are the split in me.

But you are me
Let me never forget
The violence that you remember
Is my self, identical

Commentary by Mondkind:

This drawing represents strength to me. It was the strength I had as a child to continue fighting the abuse that happened to me on a regular basis. I never stopped fighting. I kicked and screamed and bit and fought very hard. I tried to intervene when I saw other kids being abused. The picture of me at the top shows my strength, fighting and never giving in. The drawing at the bottom represents my fragility. Every time I was abused, it broke me. The picture was taken after being abused. I was dressed up in a dress and standing outside my childhood house. You can see the pain in my eyes and yet I am perfectly clear. I see what is happening.

The bird cage represents a memory of being a kid at my grandmother's 80th birthday party. I was just a kid surrounded by abusers. At one point my great uncle tried to lure me and my kid cousin into a room to abuse us. We held hands and ran like the wind. I made up a story about going to feed the birds so that we could escape.