WHERE HAVE I BEEN ALL MY LIFE

I spent a year in Memphis and never got a band.
I spent a year in Florida and never got a tan.
Spent a year in a monastery, rehab for the crooks
Spent a year at Hugh Hefner’s house cause he said he liked my looks.
I spent a year in India and never found my soul
I spent a year in Milwaukee and never got to bowl.
(Chorus)
Well I guess you could say I’ve wasted time.
And I’m still a couple years behind.
And it’s got me wonderin’ tonight
Where have I been all my life?
I spent a year in San Francisco howlin’ at the moon
Me and this Senorita, drunk inside a dirty room.
I spent a year in Monte Carlo and never won a chip
I spent a year in dance class and never learned to dip.
I spent a year in therapy and never learned to grow
I spent a year in Vegas and never saw a show.
(Chorus)
I guess you could say I’ve wasted time
And may be still a couple years behind
They tell me I am thirty five
Ah, where have I been all my life?

I spent a year in Paris but I never learned to cook
I spent a year in college and never cracked a book.
I spent a year in Hong Kong and never learned Chinese
I spent a year in love where ya either burn or freeze.
I spent a year in Hollywood and never made a splash
I spent a year in Nashville without seein’ Johnny Cash.
(Chorus)
Well I guess you could say I wasted time
And still a couple years behind
By now I oughta have a home and a wife
Where have I been all my life?
I spent a year in driving school and never learned to steer
I spent a year in danger and never learned to fear.
I spent a year in Tampa and never saw the bay
I spent a year in Palm Beach and never learned croquet.
I spent a year in Texas and never learned to fight
Spent a year with Jerry Falwell and never saw the light.
(Chorus)
Well I guess you could say I wasted time
And I’m still a couple years behind
Tryin’ to get my recollections right
Where have I been all my life?
I spent a year in England and never saw Big Ben
I spent a year in Siam and never found a twin.

So I think I’m goin’ back beneath that California moon
Para one more Senorita, find that dirty room.
Maybe take her back to Mexico where the clay roads twist and turn
Check in the hotel Juarez and love her ‘til she burns.
And I swear that I’ll make her my wife
If she says “where have you been all my life”?