Fluctuations Take
Slow pulsing
Sweet convulsing
✨How did I get here this time
Eyes struggle *open now *
Sickening smoky clouds
✨I will remember this climb
Poisonous medicine
Instant regret sets it
✨Beginning the end as I wake up
Venomous healer speaks
Distorted days and weeks
✨Watch my will bend as it breaks up
I know this is not what you intended, but your poem sounds like the start of a really interesting Sci-fi/near future movie. Something about someone who falls asleep, only to wake up disoriented in a dystopian future.
I like the concept and we should write it. One scene at a time. Here on steemit ! As an ongoing project. You think?
Oh wow, how would you do that in Steemit. Each scene would be a post?..but then people wouldn't be able to cooperatively edit it... or would you do it in comments. I have to think on that more.
Well the prologue is done. Just start a new post linking to the prologue, and write a simple short first chapter. Keep it brief. Then tag me in it, and be sure to link to the prologue. And when you are done, label it chapter 1. I will then post a new post with links to the prologue and the first chapter. Then you post new one with link to prologue, chapter 1 chapter 2 and you write chapter 3. Until maybe 10 chapters. It will be fun. Your turn!
Oh wow, what did I just get myself into? Okay, I'm going to need a few days, but I will give it a try. Shall I write it in prose or screenplay style? I've never written a screenplay so I probably wouldn't do well with that for the first time so I'm inclined to stick with prose.
Whatever you want. No rules yet. We can make the rules up as we go.
I have not forgotten. Life has just hit me from multiple directions right now and I'm trying to keep up.
Do not worry - I am also very over limit on tasks now, too.
Thank you have reminded me about death.
Death is indeed shaped promise and ties.
Sometimes I like to looking through a window, where yields rose fell to the ground
Aromatic and fragrant to vacuum
From there I understand death.
a good @lorilikes thank you for your friendship.
Continue thy life here from far away I will always support you
Nice juxtaposition of word selection and imagery; it amplifies the meaning.
Thank you for being real. I adore real people. I adore you! 🦋✨
"Poisonous medicine
Instant regret sets it
✨Beginning the end as I wake up"
This is "simply beautiful"
There are things in life which we experience and feel the vibes.... After a certain time period we lose the essence of those emotions And whenever we get the same vibes in a certain incident we remember the incident occured earlier which relates to that vibe.
Slowly and steadily reading each verse of your poems brings back the emotions.
Slow pulsing - the day when i first saw my love i could hear the slow pulses the slow heartbeat of my heart...
Sweet convulsing - looking at her i slipped and got contraction of the leg muscle
✨How did I get here this time - damn how can some lines make me go back to the past how did i get here
the day when we went camping from our school
Eyes struggle *open now * - the first morning after a bad climb
Sickening smoky clouds - as i opened my eyes in dark night
✨I will remember this climb - i do remember the camping trip.
The days when i get sick...
Poisonous medicine - the bitter medicines my doc prescribed..
Instant regret sets it - what did i do that made me this sick arrr...
✨Beginning the end as I wake up - after the medication whenever i wake up its the end of my sickness
Kinda cool.
Is this your interpretation or translation?
Neither interpretation nor translation just the thoughts that arise when i read your poems... Its better to let you know what thoughts arise when we read your poems.. Was it too lame 😅
Not lame. Very nice to have a real conversation so thank you.
Hehe!! I'm glad you liked it😃
the straight road looks long, it is passed by everyone, this is the journey of life with full of twists and turns that must pass, we must step because tomorrow is not equal to today. every step is the direction of the wind that blows the smoke that must be passed. do not ever get caught in a grim path because its end will be blurry @lorilikes every verse poem that I read very touch. honestly from the beginning I follow you there is no intention never in the heart to just pretend because of the fact that your poetry is beautiful and classy, I make you my motivation write.
Thanks you so much @lorilikes
A sleepwalker? You might just wake up and find all is gone.... Then regrets. So I always struggle to keep my eyes open. You are so good Lori and I wish to learn stuffs from you.
That’s a huge compliment from you. Yay! 😍
Sounds like one of those mistakes that a person can make again and again. They don't want to fall into it, but do. Those cycles can be tough to get out of. I've been there. That's one of the reasons I wrote my last post, to encourage myself that I can do better and that I'm not going to let failure or frustration or disappointment (in other or myself) get me down. I have to keep fighting to move ahead. And I'm going to attempt to be positive while I do that. :)
Beautiful, and very cryptic- but I totally understand. You understand.
🦋
Yep. Looking forward to good news though!
They do not want to fall into it, but do. The cycle can be difficult to overcome. I've been there. That is one reason why I am writing my last post, to encourage myself that I can do better and that I will not allow failure or frustration or disappointment (in others or myself) to disappoint me. I have to keep struggling to move forward. And I will try to be positive when I do that.
When I long for,
Want to write a million beautiful poems,
I want to tell you
About all to-kangenanku.
At the moment it's as if I'm hard to find
The docks are aqueous gold ink
And an antique pen to carve it,
I was afraid of being stranded on a foreign island,
Which is full of @lorilikes uncertainty
Interesting!
💃