The fear of love - Poems from Pain by Laura Bean #poetry
No sooner than my guard drops,
which can sometimes take quite a while
he sends stone cold anger towards me
and it murders my happy smile
My stupid heart feels foolish
for again being open to pain
but its still beating so hard for him
when his words are speaking my name
And that is why that is hurts me
because I adore him beyond all light
when he turns there is no hope for me
none of my actions or words can be right
I was fearful of a family unit
but I grew to accept it was real
then with one flippant line he's destroyed it
and insecurity is all I can feel
Insecurity makes me feel lonely
and like all that I love is a lie
I try really hard to be stronger
not to let one man's words make me cry
I shared with him something quite scary
with the fear of him walking away
then he turns hard and cold towards me
treats me differently the very next day
When he walked off today so to leave us
just him and his boy and his car
Twice my heart broke, not only for me
makes me question what we really are
I dont like these negative feelings
rejected, disappointed and sad
with some luck they will leave as I'm sleeping
and tomorrow's day wont be as bad.
Poem written by @laurabean 19/08/2017
Photograph taken by @laurabean
Very deep poem. To fear the negative feelings and the melancholia which sometimes, in some cases, inevitably come hand-in-hand with love is normal, yet to realise the toxicity of that kind of love and thus decide to let go and not continue to hurt yourself is a hard thing to do - but it is, not the only, but one of the most effective ways to rid your life of this negativity you despise. I really enjoyed this poem! Well done, and thank you for sharing.
PS: If you are interested and have some spare time, I have some poetry on my blog too. :)
Thank you @lukakorba I shall pop over to take a look at your work :D