THE WORDS, SPOKEN (An Original Poetry) Day 61

in #poetry3 years ago

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(I)

The words, spoken
is like a laser beam in a freezing stream
It cuts through the dampness of the heart
like a scattered feather
lost to the swiftness of the air.
it can be music to the the ears
or a missile launched in your weary soul.

(II)

The words, spoken
can make the earth quake
the echoes of violent drum beats
the unparalleled shrieks of mad men
Clanking and yonking swords
a word, spoken, a lie taken
and now the blood of valiant men will kiss the earth
A word spoken, never can be unspoken

(III)

The words, spoken
can water malnourished flowers
plant pathogens, kill the cure
like a steaming water, boiling on ice
It can mellow the bellows of angry heart
like a trombone, a beautiful prophecy
Cooking in the offing
Smoking without fire.

(IV)

The words, spoken
is a redemption signed to the death
It's just some innocent syllables
emitted from the coldness of the thought
travelling around and around your mind
till it's spoken with premeditation animosity
the word is a blade that sifts through grass
cutting off the finesse of goodness in it.
till it becomes a lonely subway
transporting evil to and fro


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POETIC NOTES & ANALYSIS


Spoken words have the ability to make or mar, this poem speaks about the effect of spoken words when said especially negatively
The stanza four uses strong imageries to really explain the end game of statements that is being said to someone, how the aftermath of a negatively spoken word can change the state of a situation.
It compares it to so many things like a blade that sifts through glass, to a pathogen and to a steaming water.
In other words a negatively spoken word either to discourage or to hurt have dangerous effects, just like in stanza two it's like the feathers of a bird scattered in the air, when spoken it can't be taken back

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Written, edited & analysed

By @Josediccus

6/5/2018

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Visit my blog for more amazing poems

Xoxo

JOSEPH C.IKECHUKWU

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Hi josediccus.
A really good piece you have here.
One thing about your poems i respect so much is your dexterous ability to make your poems come vigorously alive in the reader's mind through your extensive use metaphors and similes.
"The Words, Spoken" is also not an exception.

The words, spoken
is like a laser beam in a freezing stream

I like how you converge polar opposites here to prove your point. Comparing words to a laser beam in a freezing stream (i am already imagining that, i magine something with a very great impact amd i am sure that is the message you want to pass about Words spoken).
The rest of the poem also carries your distinct message in well crafted metaphors coated in paradoxes.

travelling around and around your mind

I think "round" replacing around in that line would do a better job hence "around and around" breaks the rhythmic flow of your poem.
All in all, this is an awesome poem. I like it.

Thank you for your amazing analysis my friend I get your amazing feedback and criticism as well,
Yeah you're right, I have strong use of imageries, I guess mostly that's why I usually channel them, I guess it's my strength.

As for the around and around, it's just me trying to stand out, thank you so much.

Fabulous poetry you shared.......@josediccus. this is original work. amazing poem.