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RE: THE WORDS, SPOKEN (An Original Poetry) Day 61

in #poetry6 years ago

Hi josediccus.
A really good piece you have here.
One thing about your poems i respect so much is your dexterous ability to make your poems come vigorously alive in the reader's mind through your extensive use metaphors and similes.
"The Words, Spoken" is also not an exception.

The words, spoken
is like a laser beam in a freezing stream

I like how you converge polar opposites here to prove your point. Comparing words to a laser beam in a freezing stream (i am already imagining that, i magine something with a very great impact amd i am sure that is the message you want to pass about Words spoken).
The rest of the poem also carries your distinct message in well crafted metaphors coated in paradoxes.

travelling around and around your mind

I think "round" replacing around in that line would do a better job hence "around and around" breaks the rhythmic flow of your poem.
All in all, this is an awesome poem. I like it.

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Thank you for your amazing analysis my friend I get your amazing feedback and criticism as well,
Yeah you're right, I have strong use of imageries, I guess mostly that's why I usually channel them, I guess it's my strength.

As for the around and around, it's just me trying to stand out, thank you so much.

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