I Told The Universe I Exist And I Don't Need Reply

in #poetry4 years ago

I Told The Universe I Exist And I Don't Need Reply

I feel older now
At least older than 16
The world seems like it's so much smaller
Yet there's so much I haven't seen

My siblings are ahead of me
And have long since passed me by
I just wish I wanted something
I wish I would let myself try

Summer is fading to nothingness
And soon I'll be starting Junior Year
I wish I could just overcome
What it is that I fear

I haven't the slightest motivation
But I hate wasting time
The only thing I have ever liked
Is making the universe rhyme

But it's unnatural and it's absurd
To think that I have a say
In how the universe sounds
But I wish there was a way

I told the universe that I exist
And I might get a reply
But for now I'll sit staring
At a bright blue lifeless sky

Sort:  

@indigowaltz

A haiku to @indigowaltz composed of haikus stolen shamelessly.

Universe speaking
You existed and not
until we observed.

Quantum mechanics
Can only be understood
With uncertainty.

Now observed
Your wave form collapsed
Enjoy your steem!

I told the universe that I exist
And I might get a reply
But for now I'll sit staring
At a bright blue lifeless sky

I like this part. Keep going. Art is a difficult category which not everyone understands

Thank you, What you said means a lot.

couplets ftw

Come on Indigo, you and I know you can do better than this,
this is just lazy

Well hopefully you'll enjoy my next post.

I suggest you watch this and use it as inspiration for your next post:

Beautiful poem Jack. It seems effortless and flows well. How long have you been writing poems?

A little less than 3 years, although i only discovered my talent about a year ago.

That's great! I'm sure your hard work paid off. Can you offer any tips on how to write a good poem?

Well before I write each poem I have to have a clear message in mind. Most of my poems are based around simple phrases that I find interesting. Then I go from there.

Wow, I see, that's interesting. Thanks for your advice.

You think well beyond your years, @indigowaltz. You're a natural.

Wow loved your poem. Universe dont need your reply it has already set your future.

Hi Indigo, @fairytalelife commented on my comment to your post
asking me to stop trolling, I replied to her that when I like your posts
I tell you so and when I dont them I tell you so too, that that is what honest feedback consists of and that if everyone would reply to all your posts saying "awesome" you would be bereft of actual feedback.
Do you agree with me? Can you reply to her telling her Im not trolling you but just providing useful honest actual feedback?
Thank you

I do agree with you. You have a right to an honest opinion, and I am fine with you expressing it. But I'd still rather not pick sides either way.

nice !! great work keep it up

Thanks a bunch!!

a very sweet little poem

Thank you very much!

I didn't like the poem. Well, I am writing something in Russian, but I have read a lot of English poetry to say that this is, well, probably, not exciting at all :)

@zakharsmirnoff
Poetry is a form of art. Like or not like is not the point. Also poetry doesn't have to be exciting.
In fact the vast bulk of poetry isn't there to be exciting. It's there for catharsis.

Everyone who comments is entitled to their own opinion. I respect whatever you have to say. Thank you for the feedback.

OMG, let me get a glass of wine

do you see what Im talking about Indigo?

"But for now I'll sit staring
At a bright blue lifeless sky"

That phrase sounds nice though

nice post. its cool

Thanks a bunch!

You are the universe, reply to yourself.

Make sure to check out my others powms. This one doesn't rank too highly.

Your thoughts flow flawlessly.You are gifted.Keep writing more poem.Expecting a lot from you

my honest opinion is that this is worthless,
sorry indigo

It's fine. You are entitled to your own opinion and I respect that.

Im not, and he knows this, whe I loke hes stuff I always tell him,
when I dont like it I tel him too, its called honest feedback,
if people always tell you what you do is great, thats not feedback.
Do you understand that?

See indigos last reply in this post, hes ok with my feedback, he doesnt need a safe space apparently

The community appears to have a different opinion.

Voting Bots have no opinion buddy :)