Winter and Spring

We crossed paths when winter moved into spring.

As spring signified new life to the trees and the flowers, so too did our meeting of one another to each other.

It wasn't as if we planned it or thought something was special about that particular day... no, it happened as if by accident, but I'm skeptical of that.

See, accidents and coincidence are not something I believe in, and I like to think that everything happens for a reason...

I mean, How else would you explain the perfect balance between the seasons?

But, I don't know... maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe things are chaotic and random and thats just how life is... but man, I do not care if that is how life is because I still met her when winter moved into spring...

And random or planned, she made my heart sing.

She made me feel the way no drink or drug ever could, she made me feel like I could bottle up my problems, put a cork in it and send them out to sea...

Instead of burying them deeper and deeper within me.

And like oxygen ignites and intensifies fire, she was like a breath of fresh air, adding flame to my desire...

To live, and to learn, and to run and to jump and to play, and I promise you, oh my God do I promise you that words do not do justice...

Because no matter how eloquently or carefully I attempt to string them together, I still cannot encompass the beauty she holds in just one of her fingers.

Man, I swear, the time we shared and the space we closed will shine forever in my mind, and I know I'll remember her for the rest of my life...

But, sometimes endings come sooner than we would like.

And betrayal from someone you love... cuts deeper than any knife.

It was when fall moved into winter that things fell apart, and left in her place was a gaping hole in the center of my heart.

And God damn did it hurt more than any bruise, cut, or wound Ive ever known, a pain like that will break you, even kill you if you let it.

Luckily I survived, pulled myself up, wrapped myself in art and self love and got better...

But you're crazy if you think thats a feeling I wont always remember.

But thats okay.

I promise its okay.

Because Im still so grateful for that fateful day when winter moved into spring... where we met, and our souls swam up to the surface of ourselves to dance and play with each other.

And God damn, the days were amazing, the nights were amazing, the sex was amazing, the talks, the silence, staring deeply in her eyes because I became far more curious about the universe contained within her than the one surrounding us.

All of it, amazing.

I will always, always remember.

And I can't blame her.

No, never will I blame her for the path she chose for herself, for the way she decided to live for herself, for the karma she chose to give to herself.

For I am I and she is she, and we all have to accept whats not meant to be...

And I would do it all again, including the bitter end.

Because ultimately, it is just as much a part of me as she was.

And it's only because I've loved and because I've lost that I know that I feel, that I know that Im human.

So I'll never regret, looking back at it all, how you made my heart sing before making it scream, and how deeply it changed me.

All because we crossed paths when winter moved into spring.