I can see some pagan roots here--you might want to read some spells and capture the rhythms they invoke. Now it tends towards pop-goth. Though , "your fucking need to know..." stands out as a less romanticized introduction into a worse/interesting ride. I'd recommend reading much Plath, Shakespeare's incantation lyrics (Tempest, Macbeth) and perhaps Georges Bataille (though you should study some of his Philosophy in conjunction), and wherever else your muse takes you--it has a strange way of getting you what you need (if a book seems to be calling you, it is).
Thank you kindly for the tips they are very welcome and I will read up on them!
My pleasure. There's something interesting in your poetry that keeps me engaged--I'm trying to pull a few published poets and some critics into the room, so things should get interesting and the more your exposed to poems as literature, the better. You're at that learning stage where any influence is a good influence--I'm jealous. There's a later stage where any influence is a bad influence and it's fucking awful--like walking in on your dad jerking off to tentacle porn awful.
I believe that its never too late to learn a few new tricks, harder yes! Thank you again for your kind words! They made me smile! And it would be wonderful to see more and more people sharing their poetry here!