Transformation - Poetic Prose
Abandoned House, Shining Armour. As things get forgotten, so they are left without care. Memories that aren't well polished do not fade away, at least not quickly, but they do rust.
Creeping Rust, Rising Mists. You are walking in a dream realm, or so it Feels, or so you Think. You are lost, but happy, surrounded by mists, not knowing where you came from and where you're headed. You are alone in the dream, but Dream is no longer alone.
Faltering Mists, Shining Knight. Will'o'the'wisp are calling, the abandoned shall not let you go, happy to comply you walk within the mists, longing to stay, you now know the folly it was not to care for your Dream, not keeping It happy, for Dream will make you happy, so happy.
Rustling Cloak, The Cavalry Arrives. The Shining Knight, Dream's Shining Knight stands in your path. It will save you, Dream will save you from Dream. The Knight's armour is now a rag, filled with holes. Your Dream will save you and keep you forever not happy. The Knight draws its rusty sword. The Shining Scythe.
Check out my latest posts:
- Steemitschool Poetry Class - Critique Thursday Class #6 - 26/04/18 - Recording and Notes
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Art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
The image used is Las bodas de Tetis y Peleo (Golden Apple of Discord), by Jacob Jordaens, 1633, and is public domain.
© Guy Shalev 2003.
A beautiful, yet, baneful piece.
“Your Dream will save you and keep you forever not happy. The Knight draws its rusty sword. The Shining Scythe.”
As all talented story tellers know, the end and the beginning should tell the tale and you never let us (the observers, the audience, the viewers, the readers, the you of You) down.
How is a valiant knight to know that not all are in distress, or need saving? How is a gallant Knight to judge what is happiness when he is on the moors or at battle (with himself of course) and not within the circles mote?
As always you prove here why you are a Master at the craft.
Thank you, dearest Niish.
My pieces of that era, you could probably describe most of them as searching, seeking, yet baneful. These are the lessons I was staring at the time.
I knew that this piece in particular would be one of your favourites, as it deals with dreams, and transformations. Many of the pieces back then were liminal and of abstractions of reality and perceptions - silence, shadows, one's own mirror-image, mirrors, and so on.
And yet somehow, the picture that always came through was a dark one. I keep thinking in Lovecraftian terms, even before being truly familiar with his corpus - thinking as I took bus rides at night, that the amount of light in our universe is infinitesimal, and when darkness is nearly limitless, and light so limited, then the knowledge that light is itself a lie.
That was my truth, back then.
And is the Knight truly not saving us? That we do not wish to be saved does not mean we are not in need of saving.
And who knows better of internal conflicts than Dream himself?
And is it Dream that is not at peace, or the dreamer?
The transient essence in the sign of a limited time comes to the door of our decisions. This is the art of magic light at the height of the emotional task.
Everything is transient.
Everything is a decision.
The question is, how do we approach said truths.
This is musically captured. Like words are moonwalking out of one's thought when ones reading it. Beautiful piece.
Thank you kindly.
Hey Guy,
This week I decided I wanted to give it a go at critiquing the master. I hope I don't bring too much Wrath down on my head. Lol. Teasing.
Anyway,
Upon first reading there were several things in the Palm that stood out to me. I noticed that you capitalized a few different words. The first letter of each word in the first 'sentence' is capitalized; for instance, and this pattern is carried through each stanza. It seems to be a way of making proper nouns out of improper nouns. A way of creating mythic symbolism. I think it works for the most part, but the capitalization of 'It' didn't quite work for me because it seems superfluous. I feel the same about the italicized 'Dream's'.
You are consistent with using the word dream as a name or proper noun throughout the piece, but in the third stanza you introduce a 'your Dream' and for me this confuses things a bit. I'm not sure if 'your Dream' is different from 'Dream'. I think if you cleared this up somehow it would help the piece. I don't have much time for this critique, but these are really the only two things that stood out to me as far as things I thought could be fixed or made better. I really enjoy your pieces. I hope I get more time in the future to make a longer comment. Thank you for everything you do.
Dream and It are capitalized like God/He are.
That "your Dream" was very much like that as well.
If you look carefully, there is "you are alone in the dream" which speaks of it not as a living entity, not as a mythic entity, in the second stanza. But then all capitalized uses are very much intended.
The italicization of Dream was added for this version of the poem, because of the immediate repetition. As a reading-stress.
Thank you for the reply Steve :3
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