RE: Arboretum of mirages [Day 20]
I am glad to see you took my latest piece of critique to heart, Daniel, to put more of yourself into your pieces again. Though I see you've still not broken from the tendency to go for "pretty lines," though this piece is prettier than most, so I can accept it ;-)
Before we go to deeper feedback, I'll get some simple editing out of the way: "Cancelled."
You probably need a comma after "of time" and before "layer."
Now, I think you meant "foibles" in the first line? Because this is a piece about coming to terms with your own shortcomings, and foils would make it external, while foibles keeps it internal and personal.
So, I want to start from the end.
"A path for the insane," why not "A path for insanity"? What path do the insane take that differs from others? While "insanity" could follow the path of focusing on one's foibles, of being unable to look beyond one's past, and in turning away from what is good for you, and in focusing on what hurts, on the past.
And that brings us to the sort-of-question you end up on. Is it the wise's path to not walk this route? I am not sure it is. I also disagree with:
In the recognition of denial I am reduced:
Recognizing your denial is not required to move past it, but it helps. To not recognize you walk the path will not necessarily move you off it.
The wise may not have gotten over the path to begin with, but I'm not sure I'd agree even with that. The wise will go on the path, and walk along it for as long as it is beneficial to them, for as long as it has what to teach them, and then they'll step off.
Is it wisdom to not face your foibles? To not look at all at the past? That is an opinion, I guess. To only look forward, to only focus on where you want to get, both literally and figuratively, and in terms of your personhood. But you know what they say of those who do not know history - they are bound to repeat it.
Maybe "Refusal" over "refusing" is what is building this path, this bad path.
I think the piece does touch on it, on the value of memories. And is actually calling on people to not refuse. To be open, rather than assert and override it.
So what of all I spoke prior? Well, I think the piece is a bit about both. The foibles are what we refuse to see, and the refusal itself is a foible.
But it also makes it sound as if the memories themselves are not all good.
This poem speaks of how self-consciousness is a peak that hides necessary valleys and depths. But self-consciousness is the prerequisite to self-awareness.
And so, wise and unwise people in this poem, and wisdom and foolishness, depicted as contradictory. But you must be foolish to make mistakes you can learn from. You must be wise to learn from your foolish past.