Arboretum of mirages [Day 20]
Arboretum of mirages
original poetry
Have I spent running
From my foibles?
Refusing to see
The incessant clarities
Of time layer upon layer,
Refusing to touch its accumulations
To feel the texture of memory multiplied.
In the recognition of denial I am measured:
A pinnacle canceled by awareness.
In simplicities desired yet turned away,
A superluminal valley hiding its topography
With assertions,
Negations,
Refusals,
Recitations—
All paving a path
For my insanity.
(And for the wisdom
To supersede it.)
Written by
@d-pend
3/26/18
Photos arePublic domain.
I am glad to see you took my latest piece of critique to heart, Daniel, to put more of yourself into your pieces again. Though I see you've still not broken from the tendency to go for "pretty lines," though this piece is prettier than most, so I can accept it ;-)
Before we go to deeper feedback, I'll get some simple editing out of the way: "Cancelled."
You probably need a comma after "of time" and before "layer."
Now, I think you meant "foibles" in the first line? Because this is a piece about coming to terms with your own shortcomings, and foils would make it external, while foibles keeps it internal and personal.
So, I want to start from the end.
"A path for the insane," why not "A path for insanity"? What path do the insane take that differs from others? While "insanity" could follow the path of focusing on one's foibles, of being unable to look beyond one's past, and in turning away from what is good for you, and in focusing on what hurts, on the past.
And that brings us to the sort-of-question you end up on. Is it the wise's path to not walk this route? I am not sure it is. I also disagree with:
Recognizing your denial is not required to move past it, but it helps. To not recognize you walk the path will not necessarily move you off it.
The wise may not have gotten over the path to begin with, but I'm not sure I'd agree even with that. The wise will go on the path, and walk along it for as long as it is beneficial to them, for as long as it has what to teach them, and then they'll step off.
Is it wisdom to not face your foibles? To not look at all at the past? That is an opinion, I guess. To only look forward, to only focus on where you want to get, both literally and figuratively, and in terms of your personhood. But you know what they say of those who do not know history - they are bound to repeat it.
Maybe "Refusal" over "refusing" is what is building this path, this bad path.
I think the piece does touch on it, on the value of memories. And is actually calling on people to not refuse. To be open, rather than assert and override it.
So what of all I spoke prior? Well, I think the piece is a bit about both. The foibles are what we refuse to see, and the refusal itself is a foible.
But it also makes it sound as if the memories themselves are not all good.
This poem speaks of how self-consciousness is a peak that hides necessary valleys and depths. But self-consciousness is the prerequisite to self-awareness.
And so, wise and unwise people in this poem, and wisdom and foolishness, depicted as contradictory. But you must be foolish to make mistakes you can learn from. You must be wise to learn from your foolish past.
Good morning brother! Loved it
I really like your cool words. They are polished refind diamonds. How can we appreciate great soul, greater than your precious jems.It feels like you have collected pearl from deep end of the sea and decorated nicely@upvoted and resteemed
The poem deals with life like an open nature, this post is very nice for a challenge inspired life @d-pend
Insanity comes in many forms. Some cope better with it that others. Looking back can actually bring on insanity. Especially if it inspires negative thinking.
A wonderful write in word and form. Love when the words come together like that:)
Poetry is that the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings.it takes its origin from feeling recollected in tranquility.........Thanks for sharing such a nice poem.......
It's really wonderful and inspirational poetry @d-pend.
Reflection is the change in direction of a wavefront at an interface between two different media so that the wavefront returns into the medium from which it originated.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful feelings with us.
excellent writing , nice poetry, amazing post , thanks for sharing
an effective and meaningful poem. of words, I feel that my blood stream to mix :)
You are very talented in this regard. congratulations dear friend.
@d-pend, Most impressive, cool verbs indeed superior poetry wrote there. Reflections gives me most inspiration. Nice introducing powerful nature thoughts with illustrative verbs. Expanding spiritual minded thoughts. Somethings has stronger deep meanings also it's true said.