Poetry (A Poem)

in #poetry2 years ago (edited)

Vultures.jpg

A man is burning.
Not one soul looks away.
Not a single person looks at his face.
They gather his tears.

Sacred are the tears,
cherished is the flame.
The man has been forgotten.

A woman is drowning.
Anyone could wade in,
no one will save her.
They harvest her final breath.

Holy is the exhalation,
exalted the weight of water.
The woman has washed away.

We wallow in stolen tears.
We warm ourselves in others' flames.
We think it beautiful.
We call it poetry.

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Thanks to @whoshim in particular, and all the Isle of Write members in general, who gave me feedback and encouragement on this piece, and all the others.
And while the ever-glowing @mamadini did not inspire this piece in particular, she inspired the ones this draws on. As always.

Check out my latest pieces:

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art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics

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© Guy Shalev 2018.

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This is in my top three favorites of your recent musings!

That last stanza really drives the whole piece (for me) -- there is a darkness to the beauty and yearning. How one relates to words strung together in creative ways, often slanted heavy with emotional content. You really capture something large here, and in so few words.

Bravo, Guy. <3

Oh my. One of the top three? I truly am touched to hear that :)
I could say something about being disappointed it's not a piece directly about you, but no words needed there, while I know you like your tint of the dark, as you've mentioned.

As for the last stanza, you're definitely right. There is no message beforehand. It is diffuse and light. We enjoy the beauty of the poem and of the narration, till the last stanza comes and whips at us what it is we've just done. What we've been doing awhile now.

(you hear an engine rev and horn honk)
MEEP! MEEP!
(the window on the humvee rolls down to reveal a warm smiling face)
"Hello! I'm @shadow3scalpel and with the help of my protege, @chairborne, we are actively assisting veterans, retirees and active servicemen and women here on Steemit. We feel it is our 'duty' to support each other. Any questions or comments you may have, simply respond to this comment, thank you!"
(the window rolls up and the engine roars as it drives to the next person on the list)
Comment by @killerwhale. This is a opt-in bot.

We live to tell the tale of their misfortune.

We think it beautiful.
We call it poetry.

Direct hit! :D
@geekorner, you never fail to deliver.

This comment is great, because it made me see the poem in another way. My own poem, even!

You see, there are two ways to look at what this poem describes:

Poets as the ones who pluck others' misfortune. Who won't save their muses, who give them inspiration.
Poets as the ones who suffer from misfortune, and their readers as the ones who benefit from it and won't save them.

Which is true? Why, probably both. Lovely, isn't it?

Also, thank you for the kind words. I hope I never fail you, but if you look at my exchange with @whoshim, maybe I'll have to fail you for me to finally reach someone else for the first time?

reminds me of the burning monk and the argument that pain and hardship begets art and beauty, causing some to seek pain and hardship to try to attain art and beauty.

i know this is more emily dickinson than that, the we experience through projection through those experiencing, but it's all connected in a cacophony of the primal elements - water, flame and air.

the human condition, then, finding poetry in our obtuse approach to finding beauty in pain - the fascination with the abomination.

At the very least, I'm a vulture with a talented tongue. ^_^

Thanks for the share, Guy.

Is pain abominable? I think there is a difference between the unfortunate and the anathema, you know? Some things are ugly. Finding beauty in ugliness is different than finding pain in what is not pleasant.

You can find the shards of glass beautiful, even as they grow red when you clutch them to your chest.

And well, it's all about the tongue, is it not? :P

I think this is my favorite of your poems so far, and one I will keep bookmarked.

Not a love poem, eh? ;-)

More seriously, glad to hear it! It's nice to create different poems. Different structurally, tonally, thematically... It's nice to change things around. I am not too surprised a somewhat ars poetic poem spoke to you, and one that is, as we spoke of, simpler in terms of imagery and meaning, heh.

Wow.. This is the best piece of poetry I've read on this platform so far.. Wow!! I'm blown, I feel privileged to have read this.. Thank you

Thank you, that is high praise indeed. I'll try to live up to it!

you just create masterpieces

Thank you, but if anything is a masterpiece, it's not so much a given piece, as much as it is the body of work as a whole, and the picture that paints.

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I like the moody darkness here. The picture suits it well.

The last stanza obviously ties in the setup from the rest very well.

Oddly enough, I think you could replace the last word 'poetry' with a great many other things and the statement against those things would be strong as well.

Shit. I meant to reply to this, and then upvote it, and left it for later, and somehow it slipped through the cracks.

Now, the final word, replacing it with anything that is "literature/art" is easy. Because you don't actually change the message much.
But what else could we change it for that is interesting? "Religion," especially a sacrifice-based one as Christianity likes to depict itself these days is very apt, almost too apt.

And then we can look at what Marxism spoke of, when the result of the work is more important than the work itself. Capitalism. "Work" itself, perhaps. "Money"?

An interesting topic to think of. We can think of it as the army, but there are all sorts of armies where we serve in our lifetimes.